ORAL REPORTS

PALIN

2011-01-23T18:04:00.001-05:00

I watched an episode of Sarah Palin's Alaska today on the Learning Channel - what did I learn?

That Sarah Palin is even more stupid and phony than I ever imagined!

POOR CALVIN

2011-01-22T23:57:00.002-05:00

Honey, I'm all for a little "dental work" - but this is too much. I mean, all the money in the world for the best plastic surgeons, and this is how Calvin Klein ends up looking??

WHAT IS WRONG?

2010-10-01T15:16:00.002-04:00

I truly don't understand all the hate for Obama...I mean, does anyone really think old daddy McCain and Quitter Palin could fare any better?

Let's not forget the mess G.W. left us in.

OLD WHITE MEN

2010-09-21T18:41:00.001-04:00

THIS IS THE FACE OF THE REPUBLICAN PARTY - OLD WHITE MEN!!

MONTANA

2010-09-21T18:30:00.001-04:00

This my dear readers is how fucked up and behind the times the Republican party is:

The Montana Republican Party adopted an official platform that supports making homosexuality illegal.

Sorry, folks, us gay people are not going away.

MORE DUMB REPUBLICAN SHIT

2010-09-13T20:01:00.003-04:00

Here is the latest headline: Senate Republicans say they'll block tax increase on wealthy.

If this isn't proof that the Republicans only have eyes for the rich, than what is? How can so many poor working class people believe the Republican bullshit?

The gap between the rich and poor grows wider every single year - and the middle-class keeps sinking lower and lower into poverty. I am not making this up - these are statistics.

I ask you: What is so wrong with taxing the rich? The majority of rich people in America have not work a day in their lives - again statistics - but inherited the money.

THE FACTS

2010-09-10T13:50:00.003-04:00

I am so sick of all these stupid Republicans blasting Obama as "the worst president ever"!

I mean, if Obama is the worst president, than what does that make Bush?

Here are the facts: When Democrat Bill Clinton took office in January 1993, he inherited a HUGE deficit from old man Republican Bush. Democrat Bill Clinton paid off that HUGE deficit in his 8 years in office and left old man Bush's son with a HUGE surplus when he took office in January of 2001.

Republican Bush squandered that HUGE surplus and left office in January of 2009 leaving Democrat Obama with a HUGE deficit.

So after looking at the facts, it appears to me that the Democrats are financially fiscal and the Republicans are spendthrifts.

HERE I AM

2010-05-12T19:47:00.001-04:00

So, I am in Minneapolis and it's freezing!

Why do people live here?

MISTER MAKEUP IS AT IT AGAIN

2010-05-12T15:33:00.003-04:00

Hey folks - I'm back from the dead. Read Mister Makeup's latest column at www.celebrityeverything.com.

PALIN AND THE TEA PARTY

2010-02-09T01:44:00.003-05:00

WHAT A JOKE!

THIS WEEKEND AT A TEA PARTY EVENT PALIN WAS CAUGHT RED HANDED - SORTA.

POOR LITTLE QUITER PALIN COULDN'T EVEN REMEMBER WHAT TO TALK ABOUT - SHE HAD TO WRITE IT ON HER HAND LIKE A 3RD GRADER - LOL.

ONCE AGAIN, MALIBU BARBIE PROVES WHAT AN IDIOT SHE IS.

HA!

2010-02-08T00:46:00.001-05:00

Too bad Victoria - no more comments for you!!!

PALIN AND THE TEA PARTY

2010-02-07T13:54:00.003-05:00

I swear, Sarah "quiter" Palin will jump on any bandwagon to get attention.

Now the dimwit from Alaska is attempting to rule the "tea baggers".

I say go for it Malibu Barbie - I would LOVE to see the GOP nominate her for 2012 - she ain't got a chance in hell to win.

CHILDISH

2010-02-07T13:52:00.001-05:00

I have no idea who this Victoria is and why she seems intent on highjacking my blog.

I will continue to delete her.

She is a very sick person.

MAD AS HELL

2010-01-26T19:41:00.002-05:00

FURIOUS THAT CBS IS ALLOWING SOME CHRISTIAN CRAP COMMERCIAL ON ABORTION DURING THE SUPERBOWL.

TWO YEARS AGO, THEY REFUSED A COMMERCIAL FOR GAY RIGHTS.

THIS IS BULLSHIT.

THE TRUTH

2010-01-12T01:02:00.002-05:00

What's the big deal?

Harry Reid only spoke the truth...Obama would never have been elected president if he was dark skinned and talked in ghetto slang.

Grow up - it's the truth.

America is racist - plane and simple.

Several of my racist friends have told me personally that they only voted for Obama because "He's half white - not all black."

Sad, but true.

NEW YEAR'S WISHES

2009-12-31T14:28:00.003-05:00

Well, as the first decade of the 21st century comes to close, all I can say is good riddance.

Let's hope that the new decade brings us peace, prosperity and good will.

Oh, and let's hope that Sarah Palin gets hit by a bus.

I LOVE THIS OLDER POST

2009-12-27T14:11:00.003-05:00

I POSTED THIS SEVERAL YEARS AGO AND I JUST ADORE IT.

Andy Warhol superstar Brigid Berlin:

"My mother wanted me to be a slim, respectable socialite. Instead I became an overweight troublemaker.

STYLE IN MINNESOTA

2009-12-26T00:35:00.003-05:00

I swear, you can't make this shit up.

This picture and article ran in the Minneapolis Star and Tribune newspaper.

Yes, believe it not, this is the best Minnesota has to offer in the style department.

Style Star: Lisa Mandile of Eden Prairie

Spotted at: Legends Golf Club in Prior Lake

At jewelry designer Karla Haugen's annual holiday fashion show, everyone was well dressed and accessorized. Still, Lisa Mandile stood out. Her one-shoulder top with a jeweled embellishment and pants are from Etcetera, a line of clothing sold by direct sales. It's not a coincidence that Mandile sells them. Paired with KH Design earrings and Jimmy Choo boots, she stood out in the fashion-forward crowd.

STUPID REPUBLICANS

2009-12-21T16:52:00.002-05:00

In a new Gallop poll, 65 percent of Republicans responded that Sarah Pain is NOT qualified to be president - but 58 percent of those 65 percent said they would vote for her.

If that isn't proof that Republicans are morons, I don't know what is.

FEELING BETTER

2009-12-17T14:39:00.002-05:00

All I can say is health is everything - and today I am feeling better.

I am saddened by the demise of the health care bill now in congress. The way it stands now, the only people to benefit from it are the big insurance companies. I mean, there is no public option, no pre-existing condition safety net and no Canadian drugs.

I mean, what's the point.

SICK

2009-12-14T18:59:00.001-05:00

I don't make a good sick person - and this past week I've been sicker than a dog.

I mean, coughing up wall paper paste sick.

Let's hope it ends soon.

GOVERNOR?

2009-12-10T00:11:00.003-05:00

Why does Sarah Palin insist on being addressed as Governor Palin?

I mean, didn't she quit after 18 months? Yeah, she did, so doesn't that disqualify her as being called governor?

I think she should be addressed as Governor Quiter.

SHOCKED

2009-12-03T15:00:00.004-05:00

I have to admit, I am kinda shocked by a new poll that says Americans do not support Obama's decision to send more troops to Afghanistan.

I mean, have all of these people forgotten that the Taliban hosted the terrorist group that attacked America on 911?

Do these Americans really want the Taliban to regain power in Afghanistan, and thus, host future training camps etc..for future attacks?

It should be pointed out that since America entered Afghanistan in 2001, and disrupted the Taliban regime, NO further attacks on America have taken place. Nuff said.

I'm hoping that the new troops will once and for all exterminate the Taliban.

MISTER IS AT IT AGAIN!!

2009-12-03T13:38:00.002-05:00

TAKE A GANDER AT MISTER MAKEUP'S HOLIDAY BEAUTY TIPS!!

www.celebrityeverything.com

ONE CRAZY BITCH

2009-12-01T23:45:00.001-05:00

HONEY, DON'T BLAME IT ON THE GAYS - I THINK YOUR HUSBAND CHEATED ON YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE ONE UGLY BITCH.

Sullivan’s Island – South Carolina first lady Jenny Sanford released another statement today, this time blaming her husband’s affair on the declining moral values in America.

Jenny Sanford (right) and SC GOP chair Karen Floyd are both outspoken opponents of gay marriage.

“Of course I’m not saying that Mark is gay,” Sanford said, “but he may as well be. The moral decay in this country has claimed another victim and this time it was my family. Our marriage was perfect until these laws started passing around the country. Clearly the slow dissolution of the sanctity of marriage in America seeped into Mark’s psyche until he no longer felt compelled to abide by our vows.”

Social conservatives were quick to show their support for the first lady’s statement.

“It’s finally happened,” said Rush Limbaugh, conservative radio personality. “America, I’ve been warning you for years that gay marriage would destroy the American family and look… there they are, a husband, wife, and four children — destroyed. When is this going to stop America? When will the liberals be satisfied? When all the marriages break up? This wasn’t Mark Sanford’s fault, this was Ted Kennedy’s fault. Sanford didn’t cheapen the value of marriage, he was victimized by the cheapening of marriage.”

OPRAH

2009-11-30T15:27:00.002-05:00

Does anyone really care if Saint Oprah leaves the airwaves?

I don't.

This year in particular has been so "dramatized" and fake I can't even stomach her show anymore. What with the peddling of Mackenzie Philips' sexual antics with her father to the oh-so soft interview of Sarah Palin to the awful Whitney Houston shindig, I find the show just one big PR blitz for madame Oprah.

2011 can't come fast enough.

SEEING IS BELIEVING

2009-11-24T19:18:00.001-05:00

White Trash served up fresh and tasty.

WHITE TRASH AMERICA

2009-11-18T18:52:00.000-05:00

OMG - watching the news about Sarah Palin's book tour - I can't believe the stupid white trash that have turned out to support her - did they all forget that she couldn't even bother fulfilling her role as Governor of Alaska? I mean, do they want a quiter for president?

MY NEW NEPHEW

2009-10-30T23:08:00.002-04:00

IS THIS NOT THE CUTEST BABY.

I AM OFFICIALLY A DIRTY OLD MAN.

2009-10-28T19:07:00.003-04:00

Ow BABY!!!!! by KaTelYnN GuErRa on Polyvore.com

2009-10-28T19:07:00.001-04:00

Ow BABY!!!!! by KaTelYnN GuErRa on Polyvore.com

MISTER MAKEUP

2009-10-28T13:23:00.002-04:00

Darlings, Mister Makeup is offering his fall beauty forecast at www.celebrityeverthing.com - take a peek!!

LEAVING ON A JET PLANE

2009-10-24T15:23:00.003-04:00

I hate traveling.

I really do.

It's bad enough that you must strip down to your underwear at security, but now the airlines are packing the planes so tight it's like you're on route to Auschwitz.

And if you think you're getting a tiny bag of peanuts to munch on, guess again. And if you're thirsty, you better have your cash ready to buy a bottle of water.

On top of all this, two Northwest Airline pilots fell asleep at the wheel and overshot their destination by 150 miles! To make matters worse, when the pilots failed to respond to repeated radio calls, the Airforce, thinking it was a terrorist plot, went up to shoot the renegade plane down.

Yes, my darlings, traveling is quite glamorous.

JOY TO THE WORLD

2009-10-20T11:13:00.002-04:00

I am so happy that Miss Joy Behar has her own nightly show on Headline News - 9pm eastern time. I'm never home - or sleeping - to watch The View - so this nightly liberal gab fest is a dream come true.

Watch it.

ONE DAY AT A TIME

2009-10-13T01:20:00.002-04:00

Does anyone believe Mackenzie Philips?

I mean, she claims her father and her had a consensual sexual relationship for over a decade.

Her book, "High on Arrival" debuted on the New York Times bestseller list at number 3.

Considering all the hoopla and media events surrounding the book, number 3 doesn't sound too good.

SWIFT BOATING

2009-09-13T13:24:00.003-04:00

We must stop the insane Republicans from "Swift Boating" Obama's health care plans.

The Republicans are smart - they know the American people can be easily mislead - and if the public hear something over and over like "death panels" and "higher taxes" they start to believe it.

I mean, the "Swift Boat" attacks against John Kerry won the election for Bush. In retrospect, I can't believe that anyone would be dumb enough to believe the lies about Kerry's war service. I mean, especially when Bush and Cheney went AWOL or came up with excuses not to go to Vietnam. In fact, it's down right unpatriotic to lie and scheme against a war hero - but that's what Republicans do best - lie and scheme to get their way.

We must stop them.

I LOVE THIS 80S VIDEO

2009-09-09T23:44:00.001-04:00

TROUBLE HATCHER

2009-09-02T13:19:00.002-04:00

Good Lord - all this nastiness on Miss Terri Hatcher!

I must admit that while on my big gay cruise last summer we had for our entertainment one night that Asian queen who plays the fag to Eva's hag - and he said..."Does anyone want to hear about Desperate Housewives?"

Of course, the queens hooted YES.

He said: I have two words for you - TROUBLE HATCHER!

SURPRISED?

2009-08-21T23:51:00.002-04:00

Is anyone surprised that Bush used terror alerts to beat John Kerry in 2004?

I mean, in Tom Ridge's new book he states that with Kerry gaining in the polls, Bush begged him to issue terror alerts to help him when the election - and we all know, when the people are scared, they vote for the man in office.

You know, back in 2004 I knew in my heart Bush was up to no-good with those fake terror alerts pre-election.

George W. Bush = evil man.

LET ME TELL YOU

2009-08-07T11:03:00.003-04:00

Let me tell you, it was so much cheaper to rent.

I now totally understand the Tom Hanks' film "The Money Pit".

I want a new kitchen.

I want a new bathroom.

Had to get a new flat screen.

Had to get new dressers and closets.

The old ceiling fans were gross - had to get new ones.

Thanks goodness the blond wood floors are superb.

BIKES

2009-07-26T01:21:00.001-04:00

Why is it a person would run like hell from a oncoming car, but walk right in front of an oncoming bike?

I don't get it

Time and time again when I am tooling about Manhattan on my girl's (no one steals girl's bikes) mountain bike, strollers just step right into my path. The other day some dumb yuppie lady pushed her baby carriage against the red light and right in front of me. I mean, I was going 30 plus miles per hour, so I had to slam on the brakes.

I said..."You stupid bitch, you have a baby to care for - I could have killed it."

My baby is not an "it", she screamed.

"The way you care for "it" it is," I pushed back.

Why are people so stupid?

SAYING GOODBYE

2009-07-22T02:02:00.004-04:00

I am so happy to be in my new sunny two-bedroom.

However, I've learned you can't move forward unless you leave a little something behind.

Let me explain:

I walked by my former apartment today and discovered the belongings that I had left behind out on the street with the trash bags.

Sitting in the rain amongst the rusty toaster oven and my leaky 10-gallon fish tank was the mid-century red couch my parents had bought on Lake Street the first year they were married - I left it behind because it was infested with bed bugs.

Seeing my old life on the street made me a little weepy - but in a good way.

NEW HOUSE

2009-07-13T21:53:00.002-04:00

Well, after five months, I finally closed on my two-bedroom coop in the East Village.

Let me tell you, it's not easy buying real estate in this economy. Yes, the deals are sweet, but the process of getting there isn't easy - not one bit, Missy.

I first bid on my new place in February, signed the contract in March, and finally closed the deal last week. Every day was a new drama and more paperwork - and yet more paperwork - I had a folder with over 400 documents.

More details on the road to real estate will follow.

HMMMM....

2009-07-03T20:26:00.003-04:00

I wonder what this bitch has up her sleeve?

Sarah "I can see Russian from my front door" Palin has announced that she is stepping down as Governor of Alaska.

I hope she's gone for good, but my bet is this crazy bitch is gunning for a run for the Oval Office in 2012.

MISTER MAKEUP

2009-06-29T12:50:00.005-04:00

Hey Y'all - Read the new Mister Makeup column at www.celebrityeverything.com

Summer Beauty Tips.

LIZA HAS IT RIGHT!!

2009-06-26T16:07:00.001-04:00

"When the autopsy comes, all hell's going to break loose, so thank God we're celebrating him now," Liza Minnelli told CBS' "The Early Show" by telephone.

THE PROBLEM AS I SEE IT

2009-06-25T22:21:00.002-04:00

Michael and Farrah - who is going to get the cover of People next week?

That is the real question.

UPTOWN GIRLS

2009-06-16T19:09:00.004-04:00

I witnessed the walking dead today.

Let me explain:

I seldom venture above 14th street. Oh, I might occasionally sashay up to 23rd street, but that's it - any further and I need a Valium. Well, today I broke the rules. Seduced with the promise of a swag bag, I traveled to an event at the swanky Henri Bendal store on 57th Street and Fifth Avenue - right across the street from Trump Towers. The event in question was the launch of a skin care line by uber dermatologist to the stars Patricia Wexler.

Now I don't mean to be rude, but this Wexler woman is down right scary looking. I mean, the lady is so thin - but her face is pumped full of filler - that with her orange hair she resembles a pumpkin on a stick. Just looking at her scared me - her tiny wrinkled body with that fat artificial face was horrifying. I mean, this woman could scare small children as well as adults.

But the scariest part of the event was that most of the women at the event looked just like her.

I think Truman Capote summed up these women best - walking social x-rays.

FROM PEREZ

2009-06-12T18:28:00.002-04:00

I READ THIS ON PEREZHILTON.COM - IT'S GREAT!

Sarah Palin is sure milking this recent thrust into the damn liberal media for all it's worth. We were just getting used to not hearing from this dummy, and then this mess had to happen.

Palin is making the rounds to all the media outlets who want her to talk about the recent feud between herself and David Letterman. Even though David has apologized for any ill-will, Palin isn't accepting it and continues to rant on and on and on.

She will be appearing on CNN's The Situation Room with Wolf Blitzer today, where she will tell ol' Wolfie that she thinks David's jokes were "you know, pretty perverted."

She continues to vent saying:

"But it goes beyond that. Not just that joke, but this insinuation that it's OK, it's acceptable to talk like that, and then that it's acceptable for the media to not provide the American public, the listeners, the readers, the full context of that joke. Letterman says, now, hey, I wasn't talking about her 14-year old. David, my 14-year-old was there with me at the game. She was the only one there with me. It wasn't my older daughter, who's in college and taking care of her young family. It was my 14-year-old."

We repeat: Get over it! Lighten up! And for goodness sake, go back to Alaska!

We think we can hear some moose you haven't shot at yet!

REALLY?

2009-06-11T23:49:00.002-04:00

Does anyone really believe Fergie is only in her early 30's?

WORDS TO LIVE BY

2009-06-11T14:18:00.003-04:00

I fly frequently - and I love these tips from flight attendants. I mean, I could have wrote them myself. Copy and paste to your browser:

http://travel.yahoo.com/p-interests-28078669;_ylc=X3oDMTF2YWJnM21wBF9TAzI3MTYxNDkEX3MDMjcxOTQ4MQRzZWMDZnAtdG9kYXltb2QEc2xrA2Fubm95YXR0ZW5kYW50LTYtMi0wOQ--

THE BITCH IS OUT!!!!!

2009-06-10T16:13:00.001-04:00

Donald Trump ousts Prejean as Miss California!

I love that headline. I guess "the Donald" has come to his senses and gave the bigot the boot.

MANHATTAN MOMENTS

2009-06-10T01:33:00.003-04:00

You find the most interesting things walking the humble streets of Manhattan.

Let me explain:

The other day I was running out to get my daily infusion of soy latte when I noticed a homeless man perched over a newspaper. On closer inspection, he was doing the New York Times Sunday crossword puzzle - in pen!

Only in New York City.

YUP

2009-06-09T13:32:00.002-04:00

Well, it's now official: Adam Lambart has come out of the closet. Bravo to him for being a role model to young queens everywhere.

HOUSING

2009-06-08T11:59:00.002-04:00

I have been out of commission.

Let me explain:

I have been in the process of buying a coop in Manhattan - just a few blocks from my current rent stabilized apartment in the East Village. Needless to say, it's a buyer's market - lots of deals.

I will keep you posted.

I KNEW IT!!!

2009-05-27T13:07:00.000-04:00

Adam Lambert and Kris Allen arrive at the American Idol Season 8 Grand Finale held at Nokia Theatre L.A. Live on May 20, 2009 in Los Angeles, CA. Jason Merritt/Getty ImagesUs Magazine

The New York Times is reporting that American Idol's Kris Allenmay have had a little help from AT&T, one of the Fox show's biggest corporate sponsors, in winning this year.

According to the Times, AT&T provided phones for free text-messaging services at two Allen parties in Arkansas on the night of the finals. Citing sources, The Times reports that AT&T reps showed party-goers how to "power text" -- cast 10 votes at the touch of a button -- which violates show rules.

Check out 20 unforgettable moments from the Idol finale

Power texts, according to the Times, "have an exponentially greater effect on voting than do single text messages or calls to the shows toll-free phone lines."

No similar efforts appear to have been made to provide free texting services to Adam Lambert fans.

SHAME ON CALIFORNIA

2009-05-26T17:28:00.003-04:00

I'm ashamed to live America today.

The California Supreme Court ruled that the ban on gay marriage will remain intact. In other words, being a bigot is fine and dandy in the land of red, white and blue.

If it were left to the "will of the people", women would not have the right to vote, blacks would not be allowed to vote or even attend schools, and in fact, might still be slaves. All rights that have been given to minorities have come via the court - NEVER the "will of the people."

As Thomas Jefferson said.."The majority should NEVER have voting rights against the minority."

No truer words have ever been spoken.

SATURDAYS IN THE CITY

2009-05-23T21:47:00.003-04:00

You know, I really hate straight people - I really do.

I mean, it's bad enough that they hold the cards in the gay marriage battle, but must they also be so fucking fat and tacky? I mean, how hard is it to push yourself away from the buffet table and get on the treadmill? Or how hard is it to buy clothes made of natural fabrics that don't look like they belong on a golf course?

And don't get be started on their damn kids. Why is it noone smacks their brats anymore? In my day, if I acted up, my mother gave me a back handed slap. I mean, kids need to learn right and wrong and that there are consequences when you break the rules. I am so sick of mother's trying to rationalize with screaming three-year-olds at Duane Reade - kids that age respond to a slap, not a time-out.

I just don't understand how these morons rule the world.

HORRIBLE

2009-05-21T15:28:00.002-04:00

I just can't believe it.

Last night on Idol that little unforgettable wimp Kris ( I don't even remember his last name) won. I mean, how fucked up is that? Adam Lambert was the clear winner. I guess America is more white bread than I care to think.

HONEY, IT'S BOTOX NOT GRAPES

2009-05-16T14:54:00.002-04:00

MISTER MAKEUP

2009-05-14T19:06:00.002-04:00

MY BUDDY MISTER MAKEUP IS AT IT AGAIN. READ HIS TIPS ON HOW TO BE A BRONZE BABY THIS SUMMER. www.celebrityeverything.com

BITCH

2009-05-12T14:03:00.002-04:00

Okay, so the bigot can keep her Miss California crown.

I guess it's okay to pose nude so guys can jack off to your pictures, but it's not okay for gays to get married.

More hypocrisy from the stupid blonde that preaches her love of God and morals.

DICK IN YOUR MOUTH

2009-05-11T22:10:00.002-04:00

Does anyone care about Dick Cheney anymore?

Bush's number 1 butt boy is all over the news slamming the Obama administration on national security. He's also touting the success of torture, torture and more torture. Seriously, what does this old oaf know about war, prisoners or torture? I mean, he never went to war - he had his Vietnam tour of duty deferred five times - yes, five times!!

In other word, he's a big pussy.

I love Wanda Sykes' joke about Cheney...."I tell my kids that if two cars pull up, and one is Cheney and the other is a stranger, jump into the stranger's car."

GO WANDA GO

2009-05-11T11:14:00.003-04:00

I don't care what anyone says - I thought Wanda Sykes was hysterical at the White House Correspondents Dinner.

So the fuck what if she made some tasteless jokes about Rush Limbaugh. I mean, she's a comedienne.

PS - I agree with Wanda 100 percent - Rush needs to be waterboarded.

FIRST LADY

2009-05-09T21:59:00.002-04:00

Okay, I love Michelle Obama.

But the best first lady ever?

That's what Oprah - "I picked our president" Winfrey seems to think. I'm sorry, but what has Mrs. Obama done other than show off her buff arms in sleeveless tops?

Don't get me wrong, she might turn out to be the best first lady ever, but for now, let's give that honor to Eleanor Roosevelt or Betty Ford or Hillary Clinton.

MADONNA MADNESS

2009-05-07T11:38:00.002-04:00

Why does Madonna continue to think she is 21?

I mean, she wore this Louis Vuitton ensemble to Monday night's opening of the Met's Model As Muse Show, which by the way is fabulous.

Doesn't she look ridiculous?

Grow up.

SMOKE GETS IN YOUR EYES

2009-05-01T00:22:00.003-04:00

I am so sick of those dirty smokers.

I was walking down 12th street today and got caught behind a gaggle of puffing pusses. I mean, the smokey tail wind practically gagged me.

I just don't understand who in the hell would pay $9 for a pack of cigarettes that will ultimately kill you.

PS - actually witnessed people wearing masks on the subway today.

OH HAPPY DAY

2009-04-29T00:20:00.003-04:00

With Arlen Specter's switch to the rival party, the Democrats are one step closer to having control of the Senate. And once Minnesotan Al Franken takes his rightful seat, the Democrats will have the coveted 60 votes to stop a Senate filibuster.

What does all of this mean?

It means Barak Obama can finally make some amazing changes.

SHADY PINES MA!

2009-04-26T14:23:00.002-04:00

How will I live without Bea Arthur? I love this little clip on Rosie.

I LOVE PEREZ HILTON

2009-04-22T11:45:00.003-04:00

I have always thought of Perez Hilton as a mean chubby queen - albeit one with incredible luck. I mean, only in America can you go from being a penniless blogger to a rich superstar overnight. But unlike most rich assholes, he wasn't afraid to rock the boat with his political views - and I now say bravo to him.

For those not hip to the news, Mr. Perez was a judge at the Miss USA contest. He asked Miss California her thoughts on gay marriage. Well, what came out of her mouth was not only hateful, but plain stupid. I applaud Mr. Perez for giving Miss California a big fat zero after her hateful opinion on gay marriage - which cost her the Miss USA title.

And is it just me or does Miss California look like a tranny?

DESPERATE THOUGHTS

2009-04-20T12:53:00.004-04:00

Last night they killed off Edie on Desperate Housewives.

She died in a car accident.

For such a great character, I felt it was a pretty mundane way to die. I mean, the show is known for it's over-the-top story lines - couldn't creator Marc Cherry come up with something more titillating or exciting?

Or perhaps it is brilliant storytelling - to die in such a simple way on a suburban street.

I can't make up my mind.

NIGHTLIFE

2009-04-18T23:23:00.002-04:00

I hate weekend nights in Manhattan.

Let me explain:

On Friday and Saturday nights, the streets are flooded with bridge and tunnel trash that spew their tackiness everywhere.

I don't get why they come here?

I mean, any self-respecting Manhattanite NEVER goes out on weekend nights unless it's to a private party or a very private club, so why do they come? It's not like they're partying with cool New Yorkers - they're partying with other tacky trash from their hometowns - so why not stay on the other side of the bridge!

I KNOW I'VE SHOWN THIS BEFORE.....

2009-04-11T15:33:00.001-04:00

I know I ran this pic before...but I didn't run the after.

BETTE

2009-04-07T23:49:00.001-04:00

I just found this video - fabulous! I mean, Mick Jagger actually looks rather cute - and Bette does a swell version of his song.

I LOVE DR. BRANDT

2009-04-05T19:50:00.002-04:00

I love Dr. Brandt! What a freak! I mean, this tranny-wannabe is 60 years-old. God Bless him.

NEW YORK MOMENTS

2009-04-02T02:05:00.002-04:00

Living on the island of Manhattan can be tough - the crowds, the tiny apartments and the crazy cost of everything can get you down - but then a moment comes along that brings you back to reality: Manhattan is the best place on the planet.

Let me explain:

I started out the day rather blue - another rainy day at a boring shoot. I was planning on going to the gym and early to bed....and then the phone rang. My friend called to inform me that I was on the press list to the star studded annual Dressed to Kilt event. Within 60 minutes I was glued together and in the front row watching celebs - some minor - parade down the runway. Susan Lucci, Kelly Pickler, Mike Meyers, Sean Connery and many more walked the catwalk in kilts celebrating Scottish pride. I drank free Vodka martinis and hitched a ride home in a limo with a couple I didn't know.

The cost of a glamour evening - $0.

Yes, call me a recession-nista.

FRUIT

2009-03-30T00:31:00.002-04:00

Does anyone else find those commercials for Edible Arrangements creepy?

I mean, what are you supposed to do with an arrangement made of grapefruit, bananas and strawberries? You can't show it off on the counter like a bouquet of roses. I guess you have to look at it for 10 minutes and eat it.

Again, I find the whole concept creepy.

ECONOMIC WOES

2009-03-25T12:08:00.003-04:00

This is what is wrong with our economy:

Prices keep going up, up and up, but wages and jobs keep going down, down and down.

For example: The MTA has voted to increase subway fares by over 25% and cut back on service.

What the fuck? I mean, charge more and get less? Yes, that sounds like a good plan.

Why are we putting up with this?

FAT ATTACK

2009-03-24T19:48:00.003-04:00

I don't know what I hate more: fat people smoking or fat people eating candy bars or fat people smoking and eating candy bars.

Oh, yeah, and fat people smoking, eating candy bars and riding the elevator for one floor.

RUTH

2009-03-19T11:57:00.003-04:00

I Can't believe that Ruth Madoff thinks she can get off Scott free.

I mean, does she really think she can convince people that she knew nothing of her husband's money madness.

Oh, please, anyone that knew that couple said they were joined at the hip. I mean, she's living in a penthouse with millions of dollars in the bank.

I say put the bitch in jail and make her scrub toilets.

PUT A RING ON IT

2009-03-11T21:55:00.006-04:00

More Sarah Palin hypocrisy.

After singing the praises of slut daughter Bristol's - or is it Brillo pad - decision to keep her baby Papa Don't Preach style, little Brillo Pad announced today she is waving goodbye to the child's father. Oh yeah, she never married him like mama Palin said she would.

I guess being married to a kid named Levi and living in a trailer wasn't exactly what she had in mind.

So Brillo Pad is now an unwed mother - I would love to get Ann Cuntler's opinion since the Republican mouthpiece's current rage is against unwed mothers.

MADGE

2009-03-10T14:41:00.002-04:00

OMG - with all the money in the world is this the best Madonna can look?

Isn't it bad enough that old Madge is making a fool out of herself running around with a 21 year-old boy?

The answer is no.

Now she apparently is going to a surgeon that needs glasses. I remember just a few years ago Madonna was making fun of Cher's pioneering surgery efforts....well, Cher looks pretty good compared to Madge's corpse impersonation.

PARTY POOPERS

2009-03-07T02:05:00.002-05:00

Those poor Republicans.

With no leader in sight, the party of fools have picked idiot supreme Rush Limbaugh as their leader.

I mean, wasn't it bad enough they picked old daddy McCain and Caribu Barbie to rule the world?

I guess not.

I'm laughing every day.

ENOUGH

2009-03-06T16:41:00.002-05:00

Okay, I love Obama, Michelle and the kids.

However.

I am sick to death of the media's constant praise of the Obama's parenting skills.

I mean, what's the big deal?

Parents are supposed to be strict, read bedtime stories and give their kids chores.

GOOD LOOKS?

2009-03-05T13:12:00.003-05:00

A new study released today reported that Sarah Palin's good looks may have turned people away from the Republican ticket.

I ask you: Good looking?

Hardly.

THE HUNT

2009-03-05T13:03:00.003-05:00

I've been searching for a new apartment in Manhattan.

Yes, I know the economy is in the toilet, but with interest rates at an all time low and prices dropping, I feel this is my time.

Wish me luck.

SHOCKED

2009-02-27T11:11:00.002-05:00

I admit it - I love the New York Post.

Even though the daily tabloid is full of extreme right-wing bullshit, the gossip pages are the best in the city. I mean, what New Yorker doesn't read Page Six or Cindy Adams or Liz Smith.

Now word is out that due to cost cutting, the Post has fired 86-year-old LIz Smith! I'm shocked, Miss Liz has been a staple in New York print for over 40 years.

Damn, I hate this economy.

I LOVE KATIE COURIC

2009-02-27T10:48:00.004-05:00

You know, I've come to love Miss Katie Couric.

Watching her the other night cover the Obama State of the Union event, I was struck by her grace, charm and wit.

Okay, I admit, I never really cared much for her on The Today Show, but as the years wore on, she got better - and more feisty.

I mean, her "take no prisoners" battles with Ann Cuntler are legendary.

And let's not forget it was Katie who single handily derailed the speeding train that was Sarah Palin. After the Republican Convention love fest, the nation was in awe of the little Governor that could. Leave it to Katie with her calm blond charm to reveal what an idiot Palin was.

For that alone, I will always love her.

STRANGE STORIES

2009-02-24T12:47:00.003-05:00

MM is back - I've been swamped with work - and I caught a nasty cold flying to the armpit of America - Huntsville, Alabama. I mean, I have never seen so many fatties in my life, so I was not shocked to learn that Alabama is the obese capital of the USA. I swear, I could not find a vegetable my entire trip - just platters of greasy ribs served on plastic plates with potato chips. It's no wonder I am sick.

On the plane back to Manhattan, I read in USA Today the most fascinating story. A teenage Wisconsin boy posing as a hot chick tricked numerous high school jock classmates via Facebook into sending him nude photos of themselves. With the threat of showing the nude photos at school, the crafty boy blackmailed the jocks into having sex with him. According to police reports, the boy had sex with 32 jocks in the school library, gym and parking lot.

I wish I had Facebook while I was high school.

DESPERATE

2009-02-19T12:12:00.002-05:00

I am shocked.

Edie Brit is being killed off on Desperate Housewives.

I mean, Nicolette Sheridan's Edie is the best thing on the show. Granted, she's always been a minor character, but her bitchy put-downs and sassy expressions made for fine television.

I will miss her.

PISSED OFF

2009-02-17T16:45:00.002-05:00

Why is it so fucking hard to talk to a human being when calling a company?

I mean, after endless prompts and hang ups and call backs and a final 30 minute wait you finally get some foreign fuck in India who can barely speak English.

Fucked up! And we wonder why the economy is in a shambles.

LOVE THIS PHOTO

2009-02-13T11:54:00.000-05:00

ONLY IN MMANHATTAN

2009-02-12T22:41:00.000-05:00

I found this kooky ad on craigslist.

Transmale master seeking slave with a car and skills

Reply to: pers-1032670066@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2009-02-12, 10:32PM EST

Seeking slave who is presentable and is seeking to assist master a few times a week with his massage, foot works, errands and other needs master may develop. You will accompany me and drive me and generally carry out my orders and wishes.
Only subhuman and lowly slaves need apply.
Must be able to bring monetary offering to master at all times or forget it.

DON'T MESS WITH MOMMIE DEAREST

2009-02-07T22:57:00.003-05:00

You probably already heard that Miss Faye Dunaway is totally pissed that pop tart Hillary Duff is going to reprise her star turning role in 1967's classic "Bonnie and Clyde." I think she said..."Couldn't they at least find a real actress?"

I couldn't agree more.

"Bonnie and Clyde" is an amazing film - Oscar wins and nods for all involved. I mean, if it ain't broke, don't fix it - and certainly don't fix it with to-talent Hillary Duff.

And to add insult to injury, Miss Duff tried to get catty with Mommie Dearest by saying..."Most of my fans don't even know who she is...and if Iooked like her, I might be mad, too."

Ouch.

And for the record, Miss Dunaway is 68, and although she looks a tad pulled, I still think she looks amazing.

YOU BE THE JUDGE

2009-02-04T18:02:00.002-05:00

I have always HATED Sarah Palin, but this recent bit of news is frightening. I understand that perhaps the wolf population needs to be controlled, but isn't there a more humane way to kill these animals?

I'M SORRY, SHE'S FAT

2009-02-01T15:35:00.000-05:00

OH, PLEASE

2009-01-30T17:55:00.002-05:00

How dumb do Republicans think we are?

I mean, if they can't beat 'em, join 'em.

Now the Republicans have hopped on the black bandwagon and appointed Michael Steele as the first black RCN chairman.

I'm all for progressive politics, but this is just a shameless ploy.

FOREVER YOUR GIRL

2009-01-30T12:48:00.004-05:00

Last night, I smelled Paula's Abdul's chest.

Let me explain:

I was invited to attend a sassy press event for uber dermatologist Patricia Wexler's new skincare line. The event was held on the Upper East Side - an area I rarely if ever travel to, but free food, free drink and free products won out. Once inside, free cocktail in hand, I started scoping out the celebs....Bernadette Peters in the corner, Diane Sawyer looking at eye cream, but who really caught my eye was Miss Paula Abdul.

Tiny even in sky high Jimmy Choo pumps, Miss Abdul looked amazing - and the only celebrity the cameras and paparazzi were going crazy for. I noticed Paula was carrying a bottle in her hand - she was hawking her new fragrance soon to be sold on Home Shopping Network. I smiled at her and Miss Forever Your Girl waltzed over and made me smell her chest.

That's what I love about living on the island of Manhattan; you can wake up to a mundane day and end up with your nose in Paula Abdul's chest.

THE REAL TRUTH

2009-01-29T00:43:00.001-05:00

Here is lady Madonna sans photoshop.

Shocking, isn't it?

COLD IN THE CITY

2009-01-28T00:08:00.002-05:00

In my many years on the island of Manhattan, I have never felt such cold.

Oh, sure it's colder in places like Minnesota, but in Manhattan we actually walk in the cold. I am praying for an early spring.