BIKES

Why is it a person would run like hell from a oncoming car, but walk right in front of an oncoming bike?

I don't get it

Time and time again when I am tooling about Manhattan on my girl's (no one steals girl's bikes) mountain bike, strollers just step right into my path. The other day some dumb yuppie lady pushed her baby carriage against the red light and right in front of me. I mean, I was going 30 plus miles per hour, so I had to slam on the brakes.

I said..."You stupid bitch, you have a baby to care for - I could have killed it."

My baby is not an "it", she screamed.

"The way you care for "it" it is," I pushed back.

Why are people so stupid?

SAYING GOODBYE

I am so happy to be in my new sunny two-bedroom.

However, I've learned you can't move forward unless you leave a little something behind.

Let me explain:

I walked by my former apartment today and discovered the belongings that I had left behind out on the street with the trash bags.

Sitting in the rain amongst the rusty toaster oven and my leaky 10-gallon fish tank was the mid-century red couch my parents had bought on Lake Street the first year they were married - I left it behind because it was infested with bed bugs.

Seeing my old life on the street made me a little weepy - but in a good way.

NEW HOUSE

Well, after five months, I finally closed on my two-bedroom coop in the East Village.

Let me tell you, it's not easy buying real estate in this economy. Yes, the deals are sweet, but the process of getting there isn't easy - not one bit, Missy.

I first bid on my new place in February, signed the contract in March, and finally closed the deal last week. Every day was a new drama and more paperwork - and yet more paperwork - I had a folder with over 400 documents.

More details on the road to real estate will follow.

HMMMM....

I wonder what this bitch has up her sleeve?

Sarah "I can see Russian from my front door" Palin has announced that she is stepping down as Governor of Alaska.

I hope she's gone for good, but my bet is this crazy bitch is gunning for a run for the Oval Office in 2012.