MISTER MAKEUP

Hey Y'all - Read the new Mister Makeup column at www.celebrityeverything.com

Summer Beauty Tips.

LIZA HAS IT RIGHT!!

"When the autopsy comes, all hell's going to break loose, so thank God we're celebrating him now," Liza Minnelli told CBS' "The Early Show" by telephone.

THE PROBLEM AS I SEE IT

Michael and Farrah - who is going to get the cover of People next week?

That is the real question.

UPTOWN GIRLS

I witnessed the walking dead today.

Let me explain:

I seldom venture above 14th street. Oh, I might occasionally sashay up to 23rd street, but that's it - any further and I need a Valium. Well, today I broke the rules. Seduced with the promise of a swag bag, I traveled to an event at the swanky Henri Bendal store on 57th Street and Fifth Avenue - right across the street from Trump Towers. The event in question was the launch of a skin care line by uber dermatologist to the stars Patricia Wexler.

Now I don't mean to be rude, but this Wexler woman is down right scary looking. I mean, the lady is so thin - but her face is pumped full of filler - that with her orange hair she resembles a pumpkin on a stick. Just looking at her scared me - her tiny wrinkled body with that fat artificial face was horrifying. I mean, this woman could scare small children as well as adults.

But the scariest part of the event was that most of the women at the event looked just like her.

I think Truman Capote summed up these women best - walking social x-rays.

FROM PEREZ

I READ THIS ON PEREZHILTON.COM - IT'S GREAT!

Sarah Palin is sure milking this recent thrust into the damn liberal media for all it's worth. We were just getting used to not hearing from this dummy, and then this mess had to happen.

Palin is making the rounds to all the media outlets who want her to talk about the recent feud between herself and David Letterman. Even though David has apologized for any ill-will, Palin isn't accepting it and continues to rant on and on and on.

She will be appearing on CNN's The Situation Room with Wolf Blitzer today, where she will tell ol' Wolfie that she thinks David's jokes were "you know, pretty perverted."

She continues to vent saying:

"But it goes beyond that. Not just that joke, but this insinuation that it's OK, it's acceptable to talk like that, and then that it's acceptable for the media to not provide the American public, the listeners, the readers, the full context of that joke. Letterman says, now, hey, I wasn't talking about her 14-year old. David, my 14-year-old was there with me at the game. She was the only one there with me. It wasn't my older daughter, who's in college and taking care of her young family. It was my 14-year-old."

We repeat: Get over it! Lighten up! And for goodness sake, go back to Alaska!

We think we can hear some moose you haven't shot at yet!

REALLY?

Does anyone really believe Fergie is only in her early 30's?

WORDS TO LIVE BY

I fly frequently - and I love these tips from flight attendants. I mean, I could have wrote them myself. Copy and paste to your browser:

http://travel.yahoo.com/p-interests-28078669;_ylc=X3oDMTF2YWJnM21wBF9TAzI3MTYxNDkEX3MDMjcxOTQ4MQRzZWMDZnAtdG9kYXltb2QEc2xrA2Fubm95YXR0ZW5kYW50LTYtMi0wOQ--

THE BITCH IS OUT!!!!!

Donald Trump ousts Prejean as Miss California!

I love that headline.  I guess "the Donald" has come to his senses and gave the bigot the boot.

MANHATTAN MOMENTS

You find the most interesting things walking the humble streets of Manhattan.

Let me explain:

The other day I was running out to get my daily infusion of soy latte when I noticed a homeless man perched over a newspaper.  On closer inspection, he was doing the New York Times Sunday crossword puzzle - in pen!

Only in New York City.

YUP

Well, it's now official: Adam Lambart has come out of the closet.  Bravo to him for being a role model to young queens everywhere.

HOUSING

I have been out of commission.

Let me explain:

I have been in the process of buying a coop in Manhattan - just a few blocks from my current rent stabilized  apartment in the East Village.  Needless to say, it's a buyer's market - lots of deals.  

I will keep you posted.