FROM PEREZ

I READ THIS ON PEREZHILTON.COM - IT'S GREAT!

Sarah Palin is sure milking this recent thrust into the damn liberal media for all it's worth. We were just getting used to not hearing from this dummy, and then this mess had to happen.

Palin is making the rounds to all the media outlets who want her to talk about the recent feud between herself and David Letterman. Even though David has apologized for any ill-will, Palin isn't accepting it and continues to rant on and on and on.

She will be appearing on CNN's The Situation Room with Wolf Blitzer today, where she will tell ol' Wolfie that she thinks David's jokes were "you know, pretty perverted."

She continues to vent saying:

"But it goes beyond that. Not just that joke, but this insinuation that it's OK, it's acceptable to talk like that, and then that it's acceptable for the media to not provide the American public, the listeners, the readers, the full context of that joke. Letterman says, now, hey, I wasn't talking about her 14-year old. David, my 14-year-old was there with me at the game. She was the only one there with me. It wasn't my older daughter, who's in college and taking care of her young family. It was my 14-year-old."

We repeat: Get over it! Lighten up! And for goodness sake, go back to Alaska!

We think we can hear some moose you haven't shot at yet!

REALLY?

Does anyone really believe Fergie is only in her early 30's?

WORDS TO LIVE BY

I fly frequently - and I love these tips from flight attendants. I mean, I could have wrote them myself. Copy and paste to your browser:

http://travel.yahoo.com/p-interests-28078669;_ylc=X3oDMTF2YWJnM21wBF9TAzI3MTYxNDkEX3MDMjcxOTQ4MQRzZWMDZnAtdG9kYXltb2QEc2xrA2Fubm95YXR0ZW5kYW50LTYtMi0wOQ--

THE BITCH IS OUT!!!!!

Donald Trump ousts Prejean as Miss California!

I love that headline.  I guess "the Donald" has come to his senses and gave the bigot the boot.

MANHATTAN MOMENTS

You find the most interesting things walking the humble streets of Manhattan.

Let me explain:

The other day I was running out to get my daily infusion of soy latte when I noticed a homeless man perched over a newspaper.  On closer inspection, he was doing the New York Times Sunday crossword puzzle - in pen!

Only in New York City.

YUP

Well, it's now official: Adam Lambart has come out of the closet.  Bravo to him for being a role model to young queens everywhere.

HOUSING

I have been out of commission.

Let me explain:

I have been in the process of buying a coop in Manhattan - just a few blocks from my current rent stabilized  apartment in the East Village.  Needless to say, it's a buyer's market - lots of deals.  

I will keep you posted.

I KNEW IT!!!

Adam Lambert and Kris Allen arrive at the American Idol Season 8 Grand Finale held at Nokia Theatre L.A. Live on May 20, 2009 in Los Angeles, CA. Jason Merritt/Getty ImagesUs Magazine

The New York Times is reporting that American Idol's Kris Allenmay have had a little help from AT&T, one of the Fox show's biggest corporate sponsors, in winning this year.

According to the Times, AT&T provided phones for free text-messaging services at two Allen parties in Arkansas on the night of the finals. Citing sources, The Times reports that AT&T reps showed party-goers how to "power text" -- cast 10 votes at the touch of a button -- which violates show rules.

Check out 20 unforgettable moments from the Idol finale

Power texts, according to the Times, "have an exponentially greater effect on voting than do single text messages or calls to the shows toll-free phone lines." 

No similar efforts appear to have been made to provide free texting services to Adam Lambert fans.

SHAME ON CALIFORNIA

I'm ashamed to live America today.  

The California Supreme Court ruled that the ban on gay marriage will remain intact.  In other words, being a bigot is fine and dandy in the land of red, white and blue.

If it were left to the "will of the people", women would not have the right to vote, blacks would not be allowed to vote or even attend schools, and in fact, might still be slaves.  All rights that have been given to minorities have come via the court - NEVER the "will of the people."

As Thomas Jefferson said.."The majority should NEVER have voting rights against the minority."

No truer words have ever been spoken.

SATURDAYS IN THE CITY

You know, I really hate straight people - I really do.

I mean, it's bad enough that they hold the cards in the gay marriage battle, but must they also be so fucking fat and tacky?  I mean, how hard is it to push yourself away from the buffet table and get on the treadmill?  Or how hard is it to buy clothes made of natural fabrics that don't look like they belong on a golf course?

And don't get be started on their damn kids.  Why is it noone smacks their brats anymore?  In my day, if I acted up, my mother gave me a back handed slap.  I mean, kids need to learn right and wrong and that there are consequences when you break the rules.  I am so sick of mother's trying to rationalize with screaming three-year-olds at Duane Reade - kids that age respond to a slap, not a time-out.

I just don't understand how these morons rule the world.

HORRIBLE

I just can't believe it.

Last night on Idol that little unforgettable wimp Kris ( I don't even remember his last name) won.  I mean, how fucked up is that?  Adam Lambert was the clear winner.  I guess America is more white bread than I care to think.

HONEY, IT'S BOTOX NOT GRAPES

MISTER MAKEUP

MY BUDDY MISTER MAKEUP IS AT IT AGAIN.  READ HIS TIPS ON HOW TO BE A BRONZE BABY THIS SUMMER.  www.celebrityeverything.com

BITCH

Okay, so the bigot can keep her Miss California crown.

I guess it's okay to pose nude so guys can jack off to your pictures, but it's not okay for gays to get married.

More hypocrisy from the stupid blonde that preaches her love of God and morals.

DICK IN YOUR MOUTH

Does anyone care about Dick Cheney anymore?  

Bush's number 1 butt boy is all over the news slamming the Obama administration on national security.  He's also touting the success of torture, torture and more torture.  Seriously, what does this old oaf know about war, prisoners or torture?  I mean, he never went to war -  he had his Vietnam tour of duty deferred five times - yes, five times!!  

In other word, he's a big pussy.

I love Wanda Sykes' joke about Cheney...."I tell my kids that if two cars pull up, and one is Cheney and the other is a stranger, jump into the stranger's car."

GO WANDA GO

I don't care what anyone says - I thought Wanda Sykes was hysterical at the White House Correspondents Dinner.

So the fuck what if she made some tasteless jokes about Rush Limbaugh. I mean, she's a comedienne.  

PS - I agree with Wanda 100 percent - Rush needs to be waterboarded.

FIRST LADY

Okay, I love Michelle Obama.

But the best first lady ever?

That's what Oprah - "I picked our president" Winfrey seems to think. I'm sorry, but what has Mrs. Obama done other than show off her buff arms in sleeveless tops?

Don't get me wrong, she might turn out to be the best first lady ever, but for now, let's give that honor to Eleanor Roosevelt or Betty Ford or Hillary Clinton.

MADONNA MADNESS

Why does Madonna continue to think she is 21?

I mean, she wore this Louis Vuitton ensemble to Monday night's opening of the Met's Model As Muse Show, which by the way is fabulous.

Doesn't she look ridiculous?

Grow up.

SMOKE GETS IN YOUR EYES

I am so sick of those dirty smokers.

I was walking down 12th street today and got caught behind a gaggle of puffing pusses. I mean, the smokey tail wind practically gagged me.

I just don't understand who in the hell would pay $9 for a pack of cigarettes that will ultimately kill you.

PS - actually witnessed people wearing masks on the subway today.

OH HAPPY DAY

With Arlen Specter's switch to the rival party, the Democrats are one step closer to having control of the Senate. And once Minnesotan Al Franken takes his rightful seat, the Democrats will have the coveted 60 votes to stop a Senate filibuster.

What does all of this mean?

It means Barak Obama can finally make some amazing changes.

SHADY PINES MA!

How will I live without Bea Arthur? I love this little clip on Rosie.

I LOVE PEREZ HILTON

I have always thought of Perez Hilton as a mean chubby queen - albeit one with incredible luck. I mean, only in America can you go from being a penniless blogger to a rich superstar overnight. But unlike most rich assholes, he wasn't afraid to rock the boat with his political views - and I now say bravo to him.

For those not hip to the news, Mr. Perez was a judge at the Miss USA contest. He asked Miss California her thoughts on gay marriage. Well, what came out of her mouth was not only hateful, but plain stupid. I applaud Mr. Perez for giving Miss California a big fat zero after her hateful opinion on gay marriage - which cost her the Miss USA title.

And is it just me or does Miss California look like a tranny?

DESPERATE THOUGHTS

Last night they killed off Edie on Desperate Housewives.

She died in a car accident.

For such a great character, I felt it was a pretty mundane way to die. I mean, the show is known for it's over-the-top story lines - couldn't creator Marc Cherry come up with something more titillating or exciting?

Or perhaps it is brilliant storytelling - to die in such a simple way on a suburban street.

I can't make up my mind.

NIGHTLIFE

I hate weekend nights in Manhattan.

Let me explain:

On Friday and Saturday nights, the streets are flooded with bridge and tunnel trash that spew their tackiness everywhere.

I don't get why they come here?

I mean, any self-respecting Manhattanite NEVER goes out on weekend nights unless it's to a private party or a very private club, so why do they come? It's not like they're partying with cool New Yorkers - they're partying with other tacky trash from their hometowns - so why not stay on the other side of the bridge!

I KNOW I'VE SHOWN THIS BEFORE.....

I know I ran this pic before...but I didn't run the after.

BETTE

I just found this video - fabulous! I mean, Mick Jagger actually looks rather cute - and Bette does a swell version of his song.

I LOVE DR. BRANDT

I love Dr. Brandt!  What a freak!  I mean, this tranny-wannabe is 60 years-old.  God Bless him.

NEW YORK MOMENTS

Living on the island of Manhattan can be tough - the crowds, the tiny apartments and the crazy cost of everything can get you down - but then a moment comes along that brings you back to reality:  Manhattan is the best place on the planet.

Let me explain:

I started out the day rather blue - another rainy day at a boring shoot.  I was planning on going to the gym and early to bed....and then the phone rang.  My friend called to inform me that I was on the press list to the star studded annual Dressed to Kilt event.  Within 60 minutes I was glued together and in the front row watching celebs - some minor - parade down the runway.  Susan Lucci, Kelly Pickler, Mike Meyers, Sean Connery and many more walked the catwalk in kilts celebrating Scottish pride.  I drank free Vodka martinis and hitched a ride home in a limo with a couple I didn't know.

The cost of a glamour evening - $0.  

Yes, call me a recession-nista.

FRUIT

Does anyone else find those commercials for Edible Arrangements creepy?

I mean, what are you supposed to do with an arrangement made of grapefruit, bananas and strawberries?  You can't show it off on the counter like a bouquet of roses.  I guess you have to look at it for 10 minutes and eat it.

Again, I find the whole concept creepy.

ECONOMIC WOES

This is what is wrong with our economy:

Prices keep going up, up and up, but wages and jobs keep going down, down and down.

For example: The MTA has voted to increase subway fares by over 25% and cut back on service.

What the fuck? I mean, charge more and get less? Yes, that sounds like a good plan.

Why are we putting up with this?

FAT ATTACK

I don't know what I hate more: fat people smoking or fat people eating candy bars or fat people smoking and eating candy bars.

Oh, yeah, and fat people smoking, eating candy bars and riding the elevator for one floor.

RUTH

I Can't believe that Ruth Madoff thinks she can get off Scott free.

I mean, does she really think she can convince people that she knew nothing of her husband's money madness.

Oh, please, anyone that knew that couple said they were joined at the hip. I mean, she's living in a penthouse with millions of dollars in the bank.

I say put the bitch in jail and make her scrub toilets.

PUT A RING ON IT

More Sarah Palin hypocrisy.

After singing the praises of slut daughter Bristol's - or is it Brillo pad - decision to keep her baby Papa Don't Preach style, little Brillo Pad announced today she is waving goodbye to the child's father. Oh yeah, she never married him like mama Palin said she would.

I guess being married to a kid named Levi and living in a trailer wasn't exactly what she had in mind.

So Brillo Pad is now an unwed mother - I would love to get Ann Cuntler's opinion since the Republican mouthpiece's current rage is against unwed mothers.

MADGE

OMG - with all the money in the world is this the best Madonna can look?

Isn't it bad enough that old Madge is making a fool out of herself running around with a 21 year-old boy?  

The answer is no. 

Now she apparently is  going to a surgeon that needs glasses.  I remember just a few years ago Madonna was making fun of Cher's pioneering surgery efforts....well, Cher looks pretty good compared to Madge's corpse impersonation.  

PARTY POOPERS

Those poor Republicans.

With no leader in sight, the party of fools have picked idiot supreme Rush Limbaugh as their leader.

I mean, wasn't it bad enough they picked old daddy McCain and Caribu Barbie to rule the world?

I guess not.

I'm laughing every day.

ENOUGH

Okay, I love Obama, Michelle and the kids.

However.

I am sick to death of the media's constant praise of the Obama's parenting skills.

I mean, what's the big deal?

Parents are supposed to be strict, read bedtime stories and give their kids chores.

GOOD LOOKS?

A new study released today reported that Sarah Palin's good looks may have turned people away from the Republican ticket.

I ask you: Good looking?

Hardly.

THE HUNT

I've been searching for a new apartment in Manhattan.

Yes, I know the economy is in the toilet, but with interest rates at an all time low and prices dropping, I feel this is my time.

Wish me luck.

SHOCKED

I admit it - I love the New York Post.

Even though the daily tabloid is full of extreme right-wing bullshit, the gossip pages are the best in the city. I mean, what New Yorker doesn't read Page Six or Cindy Adams or Liz Smith.

Now word is out that due to cost cutting, the Post has fired 86-year-old LIz Smith! I'm shocked, Miss Liz has been a staple in New York print for over 40 years.

Damn, I hate this economy.

I LOVE KATIE COURIC

You know, I've come to love Miss Katie Couric.

Watching her the other night cover the Obama State of the Union event, I was struck by her grace, charm and wit.

Okay, I admit, I never really cared much for her on The Today Show, but as the years wore on, she got better - and more feisty.

I mean, her "take no prisoners" battles with Ann Cuntler are legendary.

And let's not forget it was Katie who single handily derailed the speeding train that was Sarah Palin. After the Republican Convention love fest, the nation was in awe of the little Governor that could. Leave it to Katie with her calm blond charm to reveal what an idiot Palin was.

For that alone, I will always love her.

STRANGE STORIES

MM is back - I've been swamped with work - and I caught a nasty cold flying to the armpit of America - Huntsville, Alabama. I mean, I have never seen so many fatties in my life, so I was not shocked to learn that Alabama is the obese capital of the USA. I swear, I could not find a vegetable my entire trip - just platters of greasy ribs served on plastic plates with potato chips. It's no wonder I am sick.

On the plane back to Manhattan, I read in USA Today the most fascinating story. A teenage Wisconsin boy posing as a hot chick tricked numerous high school jock classmates via Facebook into sending him nude photos of themselves. With the threat of showing the nude photos at school, the crafty boy blackmailed the jocks into having sex with him. According to police reports, the boy had sex with 32 jocks in the school library, gym and parking lot.

I wish I had Facebook while I was high school.

DESPERATE

I am shocked.

Edie Brit is being killed off on Desperate Housewives.

I mean, Nicolette Sheridan's Edie is the best thing on the show. Granted, she's always been a minor character, but her bitchy put-downs and sassy expressions made for fine television.

I will miss her.

PISSED OFF

Why is it so fucking hard to talk to a human being when calling a company?

I mean, after endless prompts and hang ups and call backs and a final 30 minute wait you finally get some foreign fuck in India who can barely speak English.

Fucked up! And we wonder why the economy is in a shambles.

LOVE THIS PHOTO

ONLY IN MMANHATTAN

I found this kooky ad on craigslist.

Transmale master seeking slave with a car and skills

Reply to: pers-1032670066@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2009-02-12, 10:32PM EST


Seeking slave who is presentable and is seeking to assist master a few times a week with his massage, foot works, errands and other needs master may develop. You will accompany me and drive me and generally carry out my orders and wishes.
Only subhuman and lowly slaves need apply.
Must be able to bring monetary offering to master at all times or forget it.

DON'T MESS WITH MOMMIE DEAREST

You probably already heard that Miss Faye Dunaway is totally pissed that pop tart Hillary Duff is going to reprise her star turning role in 1967's classic "Bonnie and Clyde." I think she said..."Couldn't they at least find a real actress?"

I couldn't agree more.

"Bonnie and Clyde" is an amazing film - Oscar wins and nods for all involved. I mean, if it ain't broke, don't fix it - and certainly don't fix it with to-talent Hillary Duff.

And to add insult to injury, Miss Duff tried to get catty with Mommie Dearest by saying..."Most of my fans don't even know who she is...and if Iooked like her, I might be mad, too."

Ouch.

And for the record, Miss Dunaway is 68, and although she looks a tad pulled, I still think she looks amazing.

YOU BE THE JUDGE

I have always HATED Sarah Palin, but this recent bit of news is frightening. I understand that perhaps the wolf population needs to be controlled, but isn't there a more humane way to kill these animals?

I'M SORRY, SHE'S FAT

OH, PLEASE

How dumb do Republicans think we are?

I mean, if they can't beat 'em, join 'em.

Now the Republicans have hopped on the black bandwagon and appointed Michael Steele as the first black RCN chairman.

I'm all for progressive politics, but this is just a shameless ploy.

FOREVER YOUR GIRL

Last night, I smelled Paula's Abdul's chest.

Let me explain:

I was invited to attend a sassy press event for uber dermatologist Patricia Wexler's new skincare line. The event was held on the Upper East Side - an area I rarely if ever travel to, but free food, free drink and free products won out. Once inside, free cocktail in hand, I started scoping out the celebs....Bernadette Peters in the corner, Diane Sawyer looking at eye cream, but who really caught my eye was Miss Paula Abdul.

Tiny even in sky high Jimmy Choo pumps, Miss Abdul looked amazing - and the only celebrity the cameras and paparazzi were going crazy for. I noticed Paula was carrying a bottle in her hand - she was hawking her new fragrance soon to be sold on Home Shopping Network. I smiled at her and Miss Forever Your Girl waltzed over and made me smell her chest.

That's what I love about living on the island of Manhattan; you can wake up to a mundane day and end up with your nose in Paula Abdul's chest.

THE REAL TRUTH

Here is lady Madonna sans photoshop.

Shocking, isn't it?

COLD IN THE CITY

In my many years on the island of Manhattan, I have never felt such cold.

Oh, sure it's colder in places like Minnesota, but in Manhattan we actually walk in the cold. I am praying for an early spring.

RECESSION??

You know, today I popped into a Starbucks for a quick soy latte and the line was 20 people deep. Excuse me, but I thought we were in a recession. Guess not at Starbucks.

FAITH

I found it odd that Faith Hill sang at one of Obama's balls - I mean, didn't she support old daddy McCain?

But I will give Faith credit - she looked amazing! I mean, she's discovered the power of tox and Juvederm.

ANN IS AT IT AGAIN

I just want to know who buys her books. I mean, she's such a cunt.

SHOPPING

Wow - interest rates are below 5 percent - and prices on Manhattan apartments are dropping. I'm thinking of leaving my rent stabilized East Village nest to see what I can afford in the concrete jungle.

Maybe I will be a grown up after all.

NOW THE OPPOSITE

Now poor Miss Teri Hatcher looks like she needs some work. Feast or famine in Hollywood.

WHAT HAS SHE DONE?

Now we all know that I LOVE me some P.S. - that's plastic surgery. But Miss Lisa Rhinna has just gone overboard with the cheeks and the lips - too much Juvederm is my guess. Girl, lay off the syringe.

TYRANT TRANNY

This past summer, I tried to steal this tranny's man at Nowhere Bar. Of course, I was high as a kite on Black Bitches (vodka and Diet Coke). When she got word of my antics, she shot me a look of death - and I ran like hell from the bar.

What was I thinking?

This is one mean looking bitch.

I LOVE THIS PICTURE!

I found this online - it's fab!

BACK IN NYC

Thank heaven I am back in the land of the living.

Two weeks in Minneapolis almost turned me into a neutered breeder with a pot belly.

The big trend in freezing Minneapolis is to wear Khaki shorts all winter long. Why? I have no idea - it's just plain tacky.

As I waited for the L train today, a Jamacian man on the platform was strumming his guitar and singing a melody of Beatles' songs. As he launched into "Help", I tossed a dollar in his guitar case and thanked my lucky stars I live in the greatest city on earth.

CRAZY

I just heard on CNN that George Bush Sr. is pushing his son Jeb for president 2012. I mean, it looks to me that old daddy Bush is going senile.

MUSLIM MINNESOTA

Yup, I'm still in Minnesota.

I was driving in Northeast Minneapolis today and came upon a huge group of Muslims protesting Israel's raid on the Gaza Strip. I mean, what idiots.

I learned long ago that you can't talk or rationalize with a Muslim. I mean, watch any news channel and witness Muslim after Muslim condemning Israel for "attacking" them while painting themselves as saints. Excuse me, but if the Muslims would leave Israel alone, all would be fine.

What is Israel supposed to do? Just sit there and let the Muslims bomb the shit out of them? The Muslim population supports Hamas - and Hamas is a terrorist group. If the Muslims wanted peace, they would kick Hamas out of their country.

STILL IN MINNEAPOLIS

A few thoughts.

You know, it seems everyone I meet in Minneapolis is in a coma.

I mean, does anyone have any fun here?

Oh, don't get me wrong, I see plenty of under 25-year-olds having a good time, but God forbid if you are post 25 and want more out of life than screaming kids and Khaki pleated trousers.

What I love about New York City is folks of all ages are hip, trendy and cool.

I HATE MINNEAPOLIS

Why do people live in Minneapolis?

It baffles me to no end why anyone would choose to live in a place that freezes over for 8 month of the year. I mean, good luck wearing a pair of fab shoes when it's 20 degrees below zero and there are piles and piles of gross brown snow everywhere. Perhaps this is why everyone I meet in the state of Minnesota is fat, tacky, bored, sexless and unhappy.

As I drove around this horrible place snarled with urban sprawl and huge traffic jams, it occured to me that Minneapolis has all of the hassles of a major city - LA, NYC or San Fran - but none of the benefits such as nice weather, good restaurants, cool people or culture.

Again, why do people live here?

SEXUALLY SPEAKING

Recently, I was sitting around with pals at a coffee shop in the East Village talking about sex.

Yes, what else is new.

We were discussing some of the odd lengths we go to to find the perfect orgasm on the ultimate island of lost souls.

Everyone agreed that I had the best story: I travel all the way up to Harlem to have so-so sex with a so-so man because he always plays the most amazing music.

Let me explain:

This man is a DJ with the best collection of early to mid- 1970s black disco - you know, the stuff that Larry Levin played at the infamous Garage on Varick Street. I mean, none of that cheesy pop disco like YMCA or Ring My Bell, this is disco soul with a beat to fuck to. Unfortunately, this man's sex beat is rather boring and predictable, but I get to groove along to some of the best music in the world.

One of my friends commented that I could move on if I just asked him to burn me a few CDs - now that is something worth thinking about.

PISSED OFF

I don't think I made a mistake in Obama, but I sure am pissed off.

Why did Obama choose Pastor Rick Warren to speak at his inauguration?

I mean, this man is against gay rights and spearheaded the campaign to ban gay marriage in California - not to mention that he is a crazy Christan fundamentalist. I thought Obama was against mixing church and state...so why is he courting the fundamentalists?

I don't get it - and I - and many liberals - are pissed off.

THE BIG FAG IN ME

Last night a friend and I did the gayest thing possible - we went and saw Liza Minnelli perform at the legendary Palace Theater on the Great White Way that is broadway.  

The place was packed to the rafters with old fags and old Jews - and Liza put on a hell-of-show. 

 I loved it - it was something that could only happen in New York City.

I also loved being the youngest person in the room.

IS IT JUST ME?

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

FOOD PLEASE?

You know, I was on the train today and some fatty was begging for dollars to buy a meal.  I'm sorry, but if you weigh 200 pounds and are sporting new Nike Trainers, I don't think you need my money.  But of course, I saw the fatty make over $5 from my car - who would be that dumb?

MISTER MAKEUP IN HEAVEN

This past week I have been in heaven - I am in St. Maartin working on a wedding - housed in my own private seaside villa.

Check out www.lasamanna.com

40?

I went to a screening of this God awful movie tonight - dreadful. I mean, it's a total copy of "How Stella Got Her Groove Back". And honey, Heather Locklear is no Angela Basset.

And isn't Heather Locklear like 60? It should be called flirting with 60....with Botox.

STOP THEM!

I've said it before on this blog, and I'll say it again - I don't like Muslims.

I mean, what kind of religion preaches such hatred that grown men pick up guns and grenades and kill innocent people?

Of course, I'm talking about the carnage that occurred in India over the past several days.

Something has to be done worldwide to stop this religion.

I LOVE THIS!

MISTER MAKEUP RIDES AGAIN

MORE TIPS FROM MY BUDDY MISTER MAKEUP - CHECK HIM OUT AT www.celebrityeverything.com

NO DICE

What is wrong with this economy?

I mean, everyday the stock market gets lower and lower - more and more people lose their jobs and prices keep going higher and higher.

Are we seeing a new depression?

I think so. I predict it's going to get much worse.

PS - For those auto executives that want bailouts - next time try showing up in a commercial jet rather than a private one - kinda hard to believe that you really need the money when you live like kings.

PRINCE UNCHARMING

Prince has gone crazy.

After running around the world in heavy makeup, high heels and butt revealing chaps, not to mention fucking every puss in every port, he has found GOD. Yes, the tiny purple wonder is going door to door as a Jehovah's Witness. He is also preaching against sex and gay marriage.

You know what I call this: hypocrisy.

The old guy can no longer sell records or get the pussy he once got, so he's turned to this to get publicity.

Sad.

I LOVE THESE PICS!!

I have always wondered what was underneath those kilts.

Now I know.

SEX CHANGE HOSPITAL

This has to be the wackiest show on television.

The plot of this reality show is simple: trannies travel to Trinidad, Colorado for sex change operations.

Now half my friends are trannies, and I know "passing" isn't supposed to matter, but if you can't pass, I don't see the point. I mean, life is hard enough without being the man in a wig and lipstick on the A train.

Watch Sex Change Hospital on WE TV Tuesdays at 11 PM.

PROP 8

I've been getting emails asking me about my feelings on Prop. 8 in California that bans gay marriage.

Of course, it makes me furious.

What most people don't understand is that every civil right in America has come to light via "renegade" judges. I mean, do you really think rednecks in South Carolina would have welcomed black children in their schools in the 1960s without "renegade" judges or presidential intervention.

Hell, no.

Any civil right - black voting, school segregation, interracial marriage - would never have come to pass if it was put to a general vote.

That said, I'm also furious with the black community who voted by 70% to ban gay marriage. I mean, the black community would still be in the fields if it wasn't for "renegade" judges and presidents that used their executive powers to give them equal rights - the black community should know better.

THE DAY AFTER

Wow - what am I going to write about now?

After so many months of dumping on Sarah Palin and old daddy McCain, I'm at a loss for words.

But I will say I find it hilarious that Fox News pundits are acting like old daddy McCain barely lost. Excuse me, Obama whipped old daddy McCain's ass in the Electoral College by 364 to 163 - that's a huge win. Furthermore, Obama turned nine red states blue - with Indiana and Virginia going Democratic for the first time since 1964!

Now that's change.

VICTORY!!!!!

I knew the night was going Obama's way when CNN announced Oprah was on her way to Grant Park in Chicago.

Let me explain:

I was too nervous to sit in my apartment, or to go to an election party, so like any good gay boy, I went to the gym. On a stationary bike at Crunch Fitness, I watched and listened as history unfolded. When CNN put Ohio in Obama's column, the gym crowd burst into applause. My eyes began to tear up and I knew at that moment Obama was going to win.

I chuckled when CNN cut to old daddy McCain's election headquarters in Ohio - old white people at banquet tables with grim expressions on their wrinkled faces. But you know, that about sums up the Republican party of 2008: old white folks with highballs at banquet tables.

As I walked back to my East Village apartment, the populace had taken to the streets with cheers and chants of Obama, Obama, Obama.

Yes, the times are a changing - and not a moment too soon.

I VOTED

Well, to he honest, I voted by absentee several weeks ago.

My fingers are crossed.

Change is coming...I just hope it's the right one.

OBAMA

GETTING DOWN TO BASICS

If you want a tax cut, vote for the Obama ticket.

If you want a tax cut for the top 5%, vote for the old daddy McCain/Bush ticket.

Simple as that.

POOR OLD DADDY McCAIN

Good Lord, poor old daddy McCain is really desperate.

Do we really want a president that will do any dispicable thing to win?

Now old daddy McCain's campaign is trying peg Obama as a Jew hater - as well as a pal of terrorists and a socialist and a Marxist.

What's next?

I'm surprised old daddy McCain hasn't labeled him the 666 bearing Anti-Christ.

WWW.TAXCUTFACTS.COM

For anyone still on the fence, please go to www.taxcutfacts.org and see for yourself if Obama's tax plan will help you.

WHO'S ON THE REPUBLICAN TICKET?

I'm just curious, is old daddy McCain running for president or is it Joe the Plumber?

ANOTHER GREAT AD

VOTE NO TO SARAH PALIN

BAD FASHION

OMG - has anyone noticed now that Sarah Palin is wearing her own clothes again, she looks like shit.

STUPID SARAH PALIN

I mean, how dumb can these people that attend Republican rallies be?

Now Sarah Palin is screaming from the pulpit that Obama will "punish hard work" by increasing taxes.

Now, my dear Escada and Dolce donned lady , we all know that Obama has stated time and time again that 95% of the folks will be getting a tax break - only if you are making $250,000 or more per year will your taxes go up. What you are trying to do is scare stupid people - that will never in their wildest dreams make $250,000 per year - into thinking that their taxes will be raised if they work hard and make more money. As Joe the plumber found out himself, he would indeed save money on the Obama tax plan.

In other words, the Republicans are doing what they do best - patting the rednecks on the back with pledges of religion, pro-life and death to fags while stealing from their back pockets.

I LOVE THIS PIC - DANCING WITH THE STARS 09

MAKEUP FOR THE PIG

I am painting the wrong pigs.

Word is out that Sarah Palin's traveling makeup artist is the highest paid staffer on the old daddy McCain team - she made over $22,000 for two weeks work. I guess, it takes a lot of paint to turn the pig's ear into a silk purse.

Once again, Sarah the soccer mom proves that she has nothing in common with Joe the plumber.

VOTER TESTING

You know, this might make me sound like an East Coast elitist, but I think you should have to take an "issues" test to be allowed to vote. I mean, there are so many idiots that vote for a hairstyle, a suit or the color of skin that I think a short and simple test to demonstrate that you know the issues is a dandy idea.

PALIN AND THE PLUMBER

You know, according to 2007 tax records, Sarah Palin and her husband reported an income of $250,000 - that's a quarter of a million dollars! Also, news leaked out that the Republicans spent over $150, 000 on fancy clothes for Palin and her family.

I ask you: what the hell does she have in common with Joe the plumber?

I mean, she's running around the country with her winks and her "you betcha's" preaching about the perils of the working man....well, coupled with old daddy McCain's 7 houses and his $10 million dollar wife, I don't think the McCain/Palin ticket has anything in common with Joe the plumber whatsoever.

ANOTHER PALIN BLUNDER

Oh, honey, yet another reason not to vote for old daddy McCain. I mean, Sarah Palin doesn't even know the job description of a vice president. A complete idiot.

REDNECK NATION

You know what really pisses me off?

Stupid Sarah Palin talking down to Americans in her stump speeches.

I was watching CNN tonight and there she was with her winks and her "you betcha's" telling her supporters that unlike eloquent Obama, she and old daddy McCain talk the talk of the people.

I mean, don't redneck Republicans get that she's talking down to them?

ANN, WHERE ARE YA?

Has anyone else been wondering where Ann "cunt" Coulter has been hiding?

The blonde Republican mouthpiece has apparently been muzzled for this election.

I mean, wasn't she the original pit bull in lipstick?

SARAH'S PLACE IN HELL

Watch this my darlings.

JOE THE PLUMBER?

Poor old daddy McCain.

At the debate he went on and on about "Joe the Plumber" - his epitome of the American man.

Well, it turns out old daddy McCain didn't do a very good job of checking "Joe" out.

"Joe", as it turns out, does not have a plumber's license. "Joe" also owes back taxes and is prone to making racist and redneck comments.

Oh, yeah, "Joe" also admitted today that Obama's tax plan would save him money - not old daddy McCain's tax plan.