Wednesday, November 29, 2006


Ya gotta love the New York Post.

OK, we all know that the Post is nothing more than a bullshit republican propaganda rag, but as the above headline proves, sometimes they do get it right.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006


Is it just me, or does anyone else hate Rachel Ray? I mean, I want to smack that perky and phoney smile right off her fat face.

And quite honestly, someone so short and squat shouldn't wear jeans.

Sunday, November 26, 2006


I'm still in Minneapolis - the land that style forgot.

Why is it every woman in Minnesota has a "bob" haircut? I mean, I haven't seen this haircut in Manhattan in 15 years. And if a Minnesota woman doesn't have a "bob", it's a short lesbian-style haircut with bad blonde highlights.

I pity the str8 men in Minneapolis.

Thursday, November 23, 2006


I arrived in Minneapolis the night six Arabs were escorted off a US AIR jet in handcuffs. Apparently, a passenger witnessed the men praying to Allah, as well as cursing America and it's involvement with Iraq; the men also sat in suspicious groups of two on the plane.

The men were questioned, searched and deemed safe. Of course, the men are now playing the victim card and talking lawsuits with several prominent lawyers.

I'm sorry, but If I saw a group of towelheads chanting, moaning and cursing America, I'd damn well alert airport security, too. I say "Bravo" to whomever turned these men in. I witnessed 9/11 firsthand, and I am fully aware what these people are capable of.

I mean, when is America going to wise up and understand that profiling is not a bad thing? If that plane would have exploded in mid-air amidst chants to Allah, everyone in America would have said..."Why didn't anyone say something?"

Tuesday, November 21, 2006


I hate stupid people.

Let me explain:

I was going through security at JFK when the line grounded to a halt due to the woman in front of me and her hidden bottle of Snapple. The “don’t mess with me” black security woman, who was featuring amazing neon blue eye shadow, tried to remove the bottle from the woman's fake Gucci handbag, but the woman resisted.

“Oh, no, I’m going to drink that.”

“Mame, there are signs everywhere stating that you can’t bring liquids beyond this point.”

“I will drink in now.”

And so, right there at the security kiosk, this stupid woman leisurely opened her Snapple as if she were at a bar or cocktail party. New Yorker that I am, I looked the stupid woman in the eye and informed her that she was holding up the line.

“How dare you talk to me like that,” she said as she casually sipped her Snapple.

“Listen lady, this is not cocktail hour and people have planes to catch.”

“He’s right,” the security woman agreed. “Give me that bottle or I’m calling for backup.”

As the line began to move again, the stupid woman looked at me and inquired: “What country are you from?”

OK, I wasn’t going to there, but since she brought it up…..

“I’m from America, the best country in the world you stupid Arab foreign fuck.”

The people behind me started applauding. I turned around and did a little curtsy.

Like I said, I hate stupid people.

Monday, November 20, 2006


I recently stumbled upon a friend’s personal ad on a gay hook-up site. I was shocked to discover that the pictures were both old and heavily retouched. When I questioned him about it, he just shrugged.

I’m sorry, but I think there is some serious sexual karma to pay when you post 12 year old pictures – especially images that were doctored or staged to begin with.

I like my strategy better – post mediocre photos, so your hook-up will be pleasantly surprised.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006


Ok, I admit it, I'm hooked liked the rest of the country on "Dancing with the Stars". And part of the reason is sexy Mario Lopez. Without a doubt, he is the sexiest man in America. I mean, his dimples could turn a str8 man gay.

Sunday, November 12, 2006


I was on the L train today and I noticed a decent looking man having a decent conversation with a decent looking woman. I also noticed that the man had a forest of hair growing out of his nose. I mean, his nose hairs were coiled and matted like dreadlocks - it was that disgusting. I kept wondering why this decent looking woman did not inform him that it just wasn't decent to be running around looking like this.

Virgo that I am, I came very close to telling him, but alas, my stop appeared and I left the train. Maybe next time.

Friday, November 10, 2006


New York City can be a very odd place. It’s the only place I know where the rich and poor intermingle, that is, if they share one common denominator – fabulosity.

Let me explain:

A few weeks back, I was attending an arty party in Chelsea filled to the brim with free drinks, swag bags, Park Avenue princesses and B-list celebs. As I was slugging down my second Grey Goose martini, I bumped into my friend Corina – a former pop star who had a #2 hit in 1991 called “Temptation.” Unfortunately, she had signed away her publishing rights, and was now living in a decrepit squat on 14th street – albeit the only squat with a gold record on the wall. As the drinks flowed, we were introduced to Jade Barrymore – Drew’s estranged mother. Soon we were all laughing and sharing jokes and enjoying a Manhattan moment.

As we exited the party arm and arm like life-long friends, I decided to walk the 12 blocks home. Corina also chose to walk. Jade – clad in evening gown and heels – announced amidst the idling limos that she was going to catch a cab, but she didn’t seem to be getting into one.

Hmmm, I thought as I crossed the street and rounded the corner.

Once out of Jade’s eyesight, the inner Charlie’s Angel in me peeked around the bricks to see her running to catch the uptown bus. As the bus began to move, she caught her Marc Jacob’s purse in the closing doors. I watched with humor as she pulled and pulled, until finally, the bus had to stop and open the doors to release her designer treasure.

I giggled all the way home.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006


WE WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I loved watching Bush squirm today at his press conference.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006


You know what I hate? I hate when you call a company for customer care and you get someone who can barely speak the English language. I mean, why the hell would companies put people on the phone that you can't understand? And what about the elderly? My parents, who have a hard time hearing on the telephone to begin with, constantly complain that they can't understand these foreign fucks and eventually hang up and redial hoping to get an English speaking person. Now I'm not advocating that these people not be hired, but WHY put them on phones and customer service?

My solution:

When I get one of these "english is my third language" types, I ASAP demand to speak to the supervisor to file a complaint.


Is it just me, or does Laura Bush look medicated?

Sunday, November 05, 2006



James Bakker — Bakker left his PTL Ministries empire in 1987 after admitting an extramarital affair with Jessica Hahn, a former church secretary. He served five years in federal prison on fraud and conspiracy charges for illegally soliciting millions of dollars from followers.

Jimmy Swaggart — Resigned from the Assemblies of God in 1988 after a fellow preacher released photos of Swaggart with a prostitute. In 1991, he was stopped for a traffic violation while driving in a red-light district in California with a woman who said she was a prostitute.

The Rev. Henry J. Lyons — Lyons was forced out as leader of the National Baptist Convention USA after his then-wife set fire to a waterfront mansion he secretly owned with his mistress. He was convicted in 1999 of swindling millions of dollars from companies that wanted to do business with members of the denomination and was sentenced to five years in prison.

Archbishop Eugene Marino — The Roman Catholic prelate from Atlanta resigned in 1990 after a two-year affair with a woman half his age. The woman claimed Marino performed a marriage ceremony for them in which the two exchanged rings.

The Rev. Terry Hornbuckle — The founder of the Agape Christian Fellowship in Arlington, Texas, was sentenced in August to 15 years in prison for sexually assaulting two women churchgoers and a third woman. Two of the victims said the minister had drugged them.

The Rev. Ted Haggard — The founder of New Life Church in Colorado resigned as pastor and as president of the National Association of Evangelicals after a gay prostitute claimed the two had drug-fueled sex regularly over three years. Haggard admitted he bought methamphetamine from the man and received a massage from him but denied that he used the drug and that the two had sex.


The world does spin on karma.

I had to laugh out loud when Ted Haggard, a staunch foe of gay marriage, occasional participant in White House conference calls and president of the National Association of Evangelicals, was busted not only for fornicating with a gay prostitute, but also for being a meth head. HA HA HA. And doesn't he look like a big fag, too?

This to me sums up the hypocrisy of not only the Republican Party, but also the bible banging hate preaching Christian fundamentalists.


Wednesday, November 01, 2006


Yesterday was Halloween and I have two costume questions for the Str8 community:

Why is it every str8 guy wants to put on a dress for Halloween?

Why does every woman want to put on fishnets and a leather skirt and play prostitute for the evening?

Inquiring gay minds want to know.