Thursday, May 29, 2008

TIME

Do you know how to tell if you have too much time on your hands?

Watching the entire 2006 Dynasty Reunion on YouTube - that's how.

One of my best friends emailed me today with the news that she spent the evening watching the 2006 Dynasty Reunion show in its entirety on Youtube.

First off, I was amazed that she would admit it.

But after thinking about it, I'd probably do the same thing.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

SAVING MONEY

In these times of economic woes, I've found a few stylish ways to cut costs without cutting out life's necessities.

Let me explain:

I love my Starbucks' Soy Lattes - yes, I do. However, I find the $5 daily cost a bit too steep, so I order a small plain coffee in a large cup. Large cup in hand, I mosey on over to the bar and fill the remaining half with soy milk for a makeshift latte.

The savings? $3.10.

Everyone knows I love my Black Bitches - I also love saying it to bartenders - but the price of a vodka/Coke combo can hover around $12 at most lounges. Well, I can't sit home every night, so now I order a draft beer - not only does it "butch" me up, but saves me around $6 per drink.

If anyone else has any stylish money saving tips, please pass them along.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

IDOL THOUGHTS

Okay, I admit it – I loved the American Idol finale.

I mean, it was like The Lawrence Welk Show for the new millennium – shiny happy faces singing/slaughtering legendary songs.

Highlights included a fabulous vintage Gladys Knight singing “Midnight Train to Georgia” – that sista can sing. Also loved Miss George Michael – another sista that can sing. I mean, even Simon gave sister George a standing ovation.

Lowlights included poor chubby Donna Summer – her black pantsuit wasn’t doing her any favors. I mean, is she getting fashion tips from Hillary Clinton? And can we talk about leathery Bryan Adams? Poor dried out thing looked liked he hadn’t drank a glass of water since his last hit in the 1980s. Remember Bryan, Botox and Juviderm are your friends.

Finally, as much as I love David Cook, that weird comb-over hair-do has got to go. Face facts sista, you’re balding, so shave the head because you're not fooling anyone.
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Wednesday, May 21, 2008

THE SKINNY ON THINGS

Over drinks last night at uber-trendy Beige, my skinny friends and I were discussing a serious topic:

Weight gain in a relationship.

If your partner or wife or husband or whomever puts on extra weight, do you still have to fuck them? I mean, if they're no longer a hottie - and you still are - what do you do? Now, I 'm not talking five extra pounds, I'm talking 20 plus pounds and a serious addiction to channel surfing and deep dish pizzas.

After much debate, we agreed that in Manhattan, you can't afford to let yourself go...and if you do, you have to let that person go.

Sad, but true.

Saturday, May 17, 2008

A DOG FIGHT

Thank God Obama pulled up his Ivy Leagued sleeves and jumped in the Republican mud and came out swinging.

After Bush's stupid and insane anti-Obama comments in Israel, Obama - unlike John Kerry - didn't waste a single moment to defend himself.

Good for him - because as we all know, the Republicans play dirty.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

BIG BALLS



I couldn't resist.

Let me explain:

I happened to be in the Minneapolis/St. Paul International Airport this week - and I couldn't let the opportunity slip by without a visit to where Republican Senator Larry Craig met his fate. You see, I normally travel via the smaller HHH Terminal, so I've yet to pay a homage to the stall of hypocrisy.

Armed with my Canon Sureshot, I strode into the mensroom. I was surprised there wasn't a guard or anything - and the promised floor to ceiling walls between toilets were no where in sight. I guess you can still play footsie.

As I snapped away, no one paid me the slightest attention - except one man. He approached me outside the bathroom and gave me his email address - "Please," he said. "Send me a few of those pictures - I lack the balls to take them myself."

"What are you going to do with the photos?" I asked.

"I want to send them to my friend John Waters."

How appropriate - I emailed him the photos today.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

THE SHOW IS CLOSED


She won big in West Virginia tonight, but big fucking deal. I mean, she's out and she knows it.

I love her quote she gave reporters this week:

"A woman is like a tea bag: You never know how strong she is until she's in hot water."

Well, she must be some strong ass tea.

They say there's no second acts in America, but I have feeling that won't hold true for Hillary Clinton.

Friday, May 09, 2008

A HARD GOODBYE

My fuck buddy is leaving Manhattan.

Okay, he's a little more than a fuck buddy. I mean, it's hard to have great sex with someone - as well as great conversation - for six months and have no emotion. I know he wasn't my boyfriend - he was way too young and way too cute, but it was nice in the lonely wee hours of the morning to pretend he was.

Maybe...just maybe...you don't always get what you want, but you get what you need.

Yes, I'm buying that one.

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

LAST ONE AT THE PARTY

I hate to say it, because I support Hillary, but I think it's time for her to drop out of the race. The polls suggest she has a stronger chance to beat old daddy McCain in the fall, but I guess the public has spoken.

Let's pray Obama doesn't fuck up.

Sunday, May 04, 2008

THE WRONG WAY TO WRIGHT

Here's what I don't get about the Rev. Wright controversy:

He says that white people are attacking the "black" church. I've also heard other prominent blacks report that speeches such as Rev. Wright's are common in "black" churches.

If that is true, what does that say about black Americans? I mean, could you imagine the shit that would fly if such statements were spoken in "white" churches?

I'm sorry, but anti-American and anti-white bullshit shouldn't be spoken in any church.