Friday, August 29, 2008

LONDON CALLING

Here is what I've learned about London thus far:

1) BRING LOTS OF POWDER - Brits do not embrace air conditioning like their brothers and sisters across the pond, thus, even the most cleverly applied concealer is doomed to failure.

2) THE ROCK AND ROLL T-SHIT LOOK FOR MEN IS OVER - AND I MEAN OVER - Brits are wearing slim-fitted cowboy shirts (solids and plaids) with skinny jeans and skinny ties - very Justin "sexy back" Timberlake. Keep in mind most male Brits are built like Nicole Richie, so buyer beware - even I had to buy shirts labeled large. I mean, on 18th street in Chelsea I'm a waif, but in the east end of London, I'm a pumped out muscle boy. Who knew?

3)THE LONDON TUBE (SUBWAY) IS AMAZING AND HORRIBLE AT THE SAME TIME - I love that the tube - unlike NYC - runs every 2 minutes and criss crosses the city rather than just up and down - ths makes life so much easier. The downside: The cars are tiny with no air conditioning and the tube stops running at 12 midnight.

4) THE EXCHANGE RATE IS HORRIBLE - I am buying very little here - the exchange rate is 2 to 1 in favor of the Brits. I mean, everything is double of what you would pay for a similar item in America.

5) DIANA ROSS AND THE SUPREMES GOWN COLLECTION AT THE V&A MUSEUM - This exhibit is a dream come true for any music lover - or a music lover that is a big fag. This collection - put together by former Supreme Mary Wilson and the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame - showcases the rise of the girl group via music, video screened interviews, album covers and gowns. A must see.

6) I LOVE A BRITISH ACCENT - I've said it before, and I'll say it again, men are just sexier with an accent.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

LONDON

Well, I couldn't wait to post. I am in the east end of London at the fabulous Hoxton Hotel. www.hoxtonhotels.com. The east end of London is very similar to the trendy lower east side of Manhattan - lots of hipsters and skinny minnies. I love it. I board the boat in Harwich on Saturday.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

VACATION - 2000 FAGS ON A BOAT

Hello everyone - I am leaving today for my summer vacation. I am once again taking a big gay cruise to Europe. I will be posting about my shenanigins when I return in mid-September.

Monday, August 25, 2008

ROAD TRIP

I had a great shoot up by the Canadian border this week – beautiful country. I was offered the opportunity to fly or rent a car…I chose road trip. And boy, am I glad I did – the crew got stuck sleeping at the airport due to weather while I zoomed home through the Catskill Mountains via four wheels and a hefty dose of Starbucks.

I made my usual stops along the way – Target, Costco and various outlet malls, but this road trip I found something new. Coasting along Route 81 slurping a cherry Dairy Queen Mister Misty, I saw a huge billboard that advertised…ADULT OUTLET – TRUCKERS WELCOME. Well, you know I had to check it out.

Located a few blocks off the highway, Adult Outlet was a huge bunker of a buiding surrounded by a gravel pit. A sign on the door read…Everyone Leaves Happy. I swear, I am not making this up.

Once inside, I thought I was at a bear convention – I have never seen so many overweight men in my life. I mean, Louie Anderson would be the thin pretty one here. In the back was a “video room” where men leaving were adjusting their zippers as well as their wedding rings. Amidst all of the married men were dildos, blowup dolls, lube and other assorted sex toys for sale. I wondered as I left…Who buys this stuff on the interstate – and when do they get the chance to use it?

As I was getting into my rental car, a hefty trucker strode up to me:

“You know, you would look mighty fine in a long blonde wig.”

I wasn’t at all shocked by his comment. I mean, it wasn’t the first time I’d been told that – although it’s usually a red wig.

I noticed he was carrying one of those keychains with picture charms – his photos were of a chunky brunette woman and three chubby kids eating Eskimo Pies. I guess he needed a blonde moment – don’t we all?

“You wouldn’t happen to have a wig in the car?”

I told him in an extremely nice way I wasn’t interested and drove off on my journey. The odd thing was, I did have a blonde wig packed in my makeup/hair bag.

Friday, August 22, 2008

MINNESOTA STYLE



You can't make this shit up.

Below is an actual article from the leading Minnesota newspaper.

Yes, Minnesota style at it's finest.

You go, Libby.


Style star: Libby Benda, from Highland Park, St. Paul.

Spotted at: Hennepin and Lake.

This Uptown intersection is the easiest place in town to find a fashion plate -- at any given moment, even on a Sunday night. That's where Benda was after having dinner with friends at Chino Latino last weekend. While she doesn't begin studying at St. Thomas until fall, her shopping skills are clearly already at the college level: This yellow and black dress is from Forever 21, the shoes are from Charlotte Russe and the shoulder bag is from the Fun Sisters Boutique.

SARA GLASSMAN

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

NO MORE MANHUNT.NET

What is a lonely queen gonna do now on a Saturday night?

It was reported that www.manhunt.net - the premier gay cruising site - gave money to old daddy McCain's presidential war chest.  

What?

I know, I was stunned, too.  I promptly canceled  - as did hundreds of other queens - my membership.  

It seems it's okay to make cash money from gays, but not okay to give them legal rights.




Saturday, August 16, 2008

MISTER MAKEUP


Hey - My buddy Mister Makeup has a new column up - take a peek at www.celebrityeverything.com.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

A CLOSE ONE

Boy, did we dodge a bullet.

I'm talking about John Edwards and his wayward penis.

I mean, what was he thinking? In this youtube era, did he really think he wouldn't be caught? And why did he pick a middle-aged bottle blonde to cheat with? If you're gonna risk it all, at least pull a Gary Hart and fuck a big tittied whore like Donna Rice.

All I can say is, Obama, keep it in your pants.

Thursday, August 07, 2008

TAKING OUT THE LONG ISLAND TRASH


I love Anderson Cooper.

“Living Lohan is just atrocious,” said Anderson, who branded the showbusiness family “horrific.”

“I cannot believe I’m wasting a minute of my life watching these horrific people,” Anderson retorted.

Even young Ali Lohan wasn’t safe from one of Andy’s quips:

“[Ali] is a 14-year-old girl, looks to be about 60. She allegedly wants to be a singer and or actor-slash-performer of some sort, striptease person, I don’t know.”

I mean.in all fairness though, Ali does look like a 40-year-old soccer mom.

Family matriarch Dina Lohan has hit back, saying, “People are just cruel! This is bad karma for him.”

You, go Anderson.

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

MIDNIGHT AT THE OASIS

I couldn’t sleep last night. Maybe it was the rain, maybe it was the sticky heat, or maybe it was because my mind wouldn’t shut up. I needed to have a drink. I got dressed and left the apartment. I didn’t shower – I planned on getting dirty where I was headed.

In a dark bar on Avenue B, the city that never sleeps was wide-awake at 3 am. The vodka/ diet Coke tasted divine, but I knew the slightly drunk man next to me that smelled of whiskey and cigarettes would taste even better. I barely smiled at him and we were in a corner making out. He had a deep foreign accent and wore a shark’s tooth on a leather cord around his neck. He was sexy and strong, and he had muscles in a manly way – not a Chelsea way. And yeah, he kissed me like he meant business.

I didn’t take him home. Something about him scared me. I told him I had to meet a friend and I left the bar. I went home and slept like a baby.

It’s been a rough week. Saturday was the sixth anniversary of my husband’s death. On that same day, I received two rejection notices from apartments I had applied for. Before the clock struck Midnight, a business partner announced he no longer wanted to work with me. The next morning, I went downstairs and someone had stolen the two tires off my bicycle – the only night I had forgotten to chain the tires.

I played Joni Mitchell's "Blue" CD the entire afternoon.

Is it no wonder I can’t sleep?

Friday, August 01, 2008

SAY NO TO WALMART

I found this tidbit in the news today.

"WalMart Stores Inc., the world's largest retailer, denied a report Friday that it had pressured employees to vote against Democrats in November because of worries that a bill the party supports would make it easier for workers to unionize.


The measure, called the Employee Free Choice Act, would allow labor organizations to unionize workplaces without secret ballot elections. It was co-sponsored by Barack Obama, the presumed Democratic presidential candidate, and opposed by John McCain, the presumed Republican nominee."

Oh, please, WalMart is one big Republican franchise.

Please do not shop at WalMart.