NEW YEAR'S WISHES

Well, as the first decade of the 21st century comes to close, all I can say is good riddance.

Let's hope that the new decade brings us peace, prosperity and good will.

Oh, and let's hope that Sarah Palin gets hit by a bus.

I LOVE THIS OLDER POST

I POSTED THIS SEVERAL YEARS AGO AND I JUST ADORE IT.

Andy Warhol superstar Brigid Berlin:

"My mother wanted me to be a slim, respectable socialite. Instead I became an overweight troublemaker.

STYLE IN MINNESOTA

I swear, you can't make this shit up.

This picture and article ran in the Minneapolis Star and Tribune newspaper.

Yes, believe it not, this is the best Minnesota has to offer in the style department.

Style Star: Lisa Mandile of Eden Prairie

Spotted at: Legends Golf Club in Prior Lake

At jewelry designer Karla Haugen's annual holiday fashion show, everyone was well dressed and accessorized. Still, Lisa Mandile stood out. Her one-shoulder top with a jeweled embellishment and pants are from Etcetera, a line of clothing sold by direct sales. It's not a coincidence that Mandile sells them. Paired with KH Design earrings and Jimmy Choo boots, she stood out in the fashion-forward crowd.

STUPID REPUBLICANS

In a new Gallop poll, 65 percent of Republicans responded that Sarah Pain is NOT qualified to be president - but 58 percent of those 65 percent said they would vote for her.

If that isn't proof that Republicans are morons, I don't know what is.

FEELING BETTER

All I can say is health is everything - and today I am feeling better.

I am saddened by the demise of the health care bill now in congress. The way it stands now, the only people to benefit from it are the big insurance companies. I mean, there is no public option, no pre-existing condition safety net and no Canadian drugs.

I mean, what's the point.

SICK

I don't make a good sick person - and this past week I've been sicker than a dog.

I mean, coughing up wall paper paste sick.

Let's hope it ends soon.

GOVERNOR?

Why does Sarah Palin insist on being addressed as Governor Palin?

I mean, didn't she quit after 18 months? Yeah, she did, so doesn't that disqualify her as being called governor?

I think she should be addressed as Governor Quiter.

SHOCKED

I have to admit, I am kinda shocked by a new poll that says Americans do not support Obama's decision to send more troops to Afghanistan.

I mean, have all of these people forgotten that the Taliban hosted the terrorist group that attacked America on 911?

Do these Americans really want the Taliban to regain power in Afghanistan, and thus, host future training camps etc..for future attacks?

It should be pointed out that since America entered Afghanistan in 2001, and disrupted the Taliban regime, NO further attacks on America have taken place. Nuff said.

I'm hoping that the new troops will once and for all exterminate the Taliban.

MISTER IS AT IT AGAIN!!

TAKE A GANDER AT MISTER MAKEUP'S HOLIDAY BEAUTY TIPS!!

www.celebrityeverything.com

ONE CRAZY BITCH

HONEY, DON'T BLAME IT ON THE GAYS - I THINK YOUR HUSBAND CHEATED ON YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE ONE UGLY BITCH.

Sullivan’s Island – South Carolina first lady Jenny Sanford released another statement today, this time blaming her husband’s affair on the declining moral values in America.

Jenny Sanford (right) and SC GOP chair Karen Floyd are both outspoken opponents of gay marriage.

“Of course I’m not saying that Mark is gay,” Sanford said, “but he may as well be. The moral decay in this country has claimed another victim and this time it was my family. Our marriage was perfect until these laws started passing around the country. Clearly the slow dissolution of the sanctity of marriage in America seeped into Mark’s psyche until he no longer felt compelled to abide by our vows.”

Social conservatives were quick to show their support for the first lady’s statement.

“It’s finally happened,” said Rush Limbaugh, conservative radio personality. “America, I’ve been warning you for years that gay marriage would destroy the American family and look… there they are, a husband, wife, and four children — destroyed. When is this going to stop America? When will the liberals be satisfied? When all the marriages break up? This wasn’t Mark Sanford’s fault, this was Ted Kennedy’s fault. Sanford didn’t cheapen the value of marriage, he was victimized by the cheapening of marriage.”

OPRAH

Does anyone really care if Saint Oprah leaves the airwaves?

I don't.

This year in particular has been so "dramatized" and fake I can't even stomach her show anymore. What with the peddling of Mackenzie Philips' sexual antics with her father to the oh-so soft interview of Sarah Palin to the awful Whitney Houston shindig, I find the show just one big PR blitz for madame Oprah.

2011 can't come fast enough.

SEEING IS BELIEVING

White Trash served up fresh and tasty.

WHITE TRASH AMERICA

OMG - watching the news about Sarah Palin's book tour - I can't believe the stupid white trash that have turned out to support her - did they all forget that she couldn't even bother fulfilling her role as Governor of Alaska? I mean, do they want a quiter for president?

MY NEW NEPHEW

IS THIS NOT THE CUTEST BABY.

I AM OFFICIALLY A DIRTY OLD MAN.

Ow BABY!!!!! by KaTelYnN GuErRa on Polyvore.com

Ow BABY!!!!! by KaTelYnN GuErRa on Polyvore.com

MISTER MAKEUP

Darlings, Mister Makeup is offering his fall beauty forecast at www.celebrityeverthing.com - take a peek!!

LEAVING ON A JET PLANE

I hate traveling.

I really do.

It's bad enough that you must strip down to your underwear at security, but now the airlines are packing the planes so tight it's like you're on route to Auschwitz.

And if you think you're getting a tiny bag of peanuts to munch on, guess again. And if you're thirsty, you better have your cash ready to buy a bottle of water.

On top of all this, two Northwest Airline pilots fell asleep at the wheel and overshot their destination by 150 miles! To make matters worse, when the pilots failed to respond to repeated radio calls, the Airforce, thinking it was a terrorist plot, went up to shoot the renegade plane down.

Yes, my darlings, traveling is quite glamorous.

JOY TO THE WORLD

I am so happy that Miss Joy Behar has her own nightly show on Headline News - 9pm eastern time. I'm never home - or sleeping - to watch The View - so this nightly liberal gab fest is a dream come true.

Watch it.

ONE DAY AT A TIME

Does anyone believe Mackenzie Philips?

I mean, she claims her father and her had a consensual sexual relationship for over a decade.

Her book, "High on Arrival" debuted on the New York Times bestseller list at number 3.

Considering all the hoopla and media events surrounding the book, number 3 doesn't sound too good.

SWIFT BOATING

We must stop the insane Republicans from "Swift Boating" Obama's health care plans.

The Republicans are smart - they know the American people can be easily mislead - and if the public hear something over and over like "death panels" and "higher taxes" they start to believe it.

I mean, the "Swift Boat" attacks against John Kerry won the election for Bush. In retrospect, I can't believe that anyone would be dumb enough to believe the lies about Kerry's war service. I mean, especially when Bush and Cheney went AWOL or came up with excuses not to go to Vietnam. In fact, it's down right unpatriotic to lie and scheme against a war hero - but that's what Republicans do best - lie and scheme to get their way.

We must stop them.

I LOVE THIS 80S VIDEO

TROUBLE HATCHER

Good Lord - all this nastiness on Miss Terri Hatcher!

I must admit that while on my big gay cruise last summer we had for our entertainment one night that Asian queen who plays the fag to Eva's hag - and he said..."Does anyone want to hear about Desperate Housewives?"

Of course, the queens hooted YES.

He said: I have two words for you - TROUBLE HATCHER!

SURPRISED?

Is anyone surprised that Bush used terror alerts to beat John Kerry in 2004?

I mean, in Tom Ridge's new book he states that with Kerry gaining in the polls, Bush begged him to issue terror alerts to help him when the election - and we all know, when the people are scared, they vote for the man in office.

You know, back in 2004 I knew in my heart Bush was up to no-good with those fake terror alerts pre-election.

George W. Bush = evil man.

LET ME TELL YOU

Let me tell you, it was so much cheaper to rent.

I now totally understand the Tom Hanks' film "The Money Pit".

I want a new kitchen.

I want a new bathroom.

Had to get a new flat screen.

Had to get new dressers and closets.

The old ceiling fans were gross - had to get new ones.

Thanks goodness the blond wood floors are superb.

BIKES

Why is it a person would run like hell from a oncoming car, but walk right in front of an oncoming bike?

I don't get it

Time and time again when I am tooling about Manhattan on my girl's (no one steals girl's bikes) mountain bike, strollers just step right into my path. The other day some dumb yuppie lady pushed her baby carriage against the red light and right in front of me. I mean, I was going 30 plus miles per hour, so I had to slam on the brakes.

I said..."You stupid bitch, you have a baby to care for - I could have killed it."

My baby is not an "it", she screamed.

"The way you care for "it" it is," I pushed back.

Why are people so stupid?

SAYING GOODBYE

I am so happy to be in my new sunny two-bedroom.

However, I've learned you can't move forward unless you leave a little something behind.

Let me explain:

I walked by my former apartment today and discovered the belongings that I had left behind out on the street with the trash bags.

Sitting in the rain amongst the rusty toaster oven and my leaky 10-gallon fish tank was the mid-century red couch my parents had bought on Lake Street the first year they were married - I left it behind because it was infested with bed bugs.

Seeing my old life on the street made me a little weepy - but in a good way.

NEW HOUSE

Well, after five months, I finally closed on my two-bedroom coop in the East Village.

Let me tell you, it's not easy buying real estate in this economy. Yes, the deals are sweet, but the process of getting there isn't easy - not one bit, Missy.

I first bid on my new place in February, signed the contract in March, and finally closed the deal last week. Every day was a new drama and more paperwork - and yet more paperwork - I had a folder with over 400 documents.

More details on the road to real estate will follow.

HMMMM....

I wonder what this bitch has up her sleeve?

Sarah "I can see Russian from my front door" Palin has announced that she is stepping down as Governor of Alaska.

I hope she's gone for good, but my bet is this crazy bitch is gunning for a run for the Oval Office in 2012.

MISTER MAKEUP

Hey Y'all - Read the new Mister Makeup column at www.celebrityeverything.com

Summer Beauty Tips.

LIZA HAS IT RIGHT!!

"When the autopsy comes, all hell's going to break loose, so thank God we're celebrating him now," Liza Minnelli told CBS' "The Early Show" by telephone.

THE PROBLEM AS I SEE IT

Michael and Farrah - who is going to get the cover of People next week?

That is the real question.

UPTOWN GIRLS

I witnessed the walking dead today.

Let me explain:

I seldom venture above 14th street. Oh, I might occasionally sashay up to 23rd street, but that's it - any further and I need a Valium. Well, today I broke the rules. Seduced with the promise of a swag bag, I traveled to an event at the swanky Henri Bendal store on 57th Street and Fifth Avenue - right across the street from Trump Towers. The event in question was the launch of a skin care line by uber dermatologist to the stars Patricia Wexler.

Now I don't mean to be rude, but this Wexler woman is down right scary looking. I mean, the lady is so thin - but her face is pumped full of filler - that with her orange hair she resembles a pumpkin on a stick. Just looking at her scared me - her tiny wrinkled body with that fat artificial face was horrifying. I mean, this woman could scare small children as well as adults.

But the scariest part of the event was that most of the women at the event looked just like her.

I think Truman Capote summed up these women best - walking social x-rays.

FROM PEREZ

I READ THIS ON PEREZHILTON.COM - IT'S GREAT!

Sarah Palin is sure milking this recent thrust into the damn liberal media for all it's worth. We were just getting used to not hearing from this dummy, and then this mess had to happen.

Palin is making the rounds to all the media outlets who want her to talk about the recent feud between herself and David Letterman. Even though David has apologized for any ill-will, Palin isn't accepting it and continues to rant on and on and on.

She will be appearing on CNN's The Situation Room with Wolf Blitzer today, where she will tell ol' Wolfie that she thinks David's jokes were "you know, pretty perverted."

She continues to vent saying:

"But it goes beyond that. Not just that joke, but this insinuation that it's OK, it's acceptable to talk like that, and then that it's acceptable for the media to not provide the American public, the listeners, the readers, the full context of that joke. Letterman says, now, hey, I wasn't talking about her 14-year old. David, my 14-year-old was there with me at the game. She was the only one there with me. It wasn't my older daughter, who's in college and taking care of her young family. It was my 14-year-old."

We repeat: Get over it! Lighten up! And for goodness sake, go back to Alaska!

We think we can hear some moose you haven't shot at yet!

REALLY?

Does anyone really believe Fergie is only in her early 30's?

WORDS TO LIVE BY

I fly frequently - and I love these tips from flight attendants. I mean, I could have wrote them myself. Copy and paste to your browser:

http://travel.yahoo.com/p-interests-28078669;_ylc=X3oDMTF2YWJnM21wBF9TAzI3MTYxNDkEX3MDMjcxOTQ4MQRzZWMDZnAtdG9kYXltb2QEc2xrA2Fubm95YXR0ZW5kYW50LTYtMi0wOQ--

THE BITCH IS OUT!!!!!

Donald Trump ousts Prejean as Miss California!

I love that headline.  I guess "the Donald" has come to his senses and gave the bigot the boot.

MANHATTAN MOMENTS

You find the most interesting things walking the humble streets of Manhattan.

Let me explain:

The other day I was running out to get my daily infusion of soy latte when I noticed a homeless man perched over a newspaper.  On closer inspection, he was doing the New York Times Sunday crossword puzzle - in pen!

Only in New York City.

YUP

Well, it's now official: Adam Lambart has come out of the closet.  Bravo to him for being a role model to young queens everywhere.

HOUSING

I have been out of commission.

Let me explain:

I have been in the process of buying a coop in Manhattan - just a few blocks from my current rent stabilized  apartment in the East Village.  Needless to say, it's a buyer's market - lots of deals.  

I will keep you posted.

I KNEW IT!!!

Adam Lambert and Kris Allen arrive at the American Idol Season 8 Grand Finale held at Nokia Theatre L.A. Live on May 20, 2009 in Los Angeles, CA. Jason Merritt/Getty ImagesUs Magazine

The New York Times is reporting that American Idol's Kris Allenmay have had a little help from AT&T, one of the Fox show's biggest corporate sponsors, in winning this year.

According to the Times, AT&T provided phones for free text-messaging services at two Allen parties in Arkansas on the night of the finals. Citing sources, The Times reports that AT&T reps showed party-goers how to "power text" -- cast 10 votes at the touch of a button -- which violates show rules.

Check out 20 unforgettable moments from the Idol finale

Power texts, according to the Times, "have an exponentially greater effect on voting than do single text messages or calls to the shows toll-free phone lines." 

No similar efforts appear to have been made to provide free texting services to Adam Lambert fans.

SHAME ON CALIFORNIA

I'm ashamed to live America today.  

The California Supreme Court ruled that the ban on gay marriage will remain intact.  In other words, being a bigot is fine and dandy in the land of red, white and blue.

If it were left to the "will of the people", women would not have the right to vote, blacks would not be allowed to vote or even attend schools, and in fact, might still be slaves.  All rights that have been given to minorities have come via the court - NEVER the "will of the people."

As Thomas Jefferson said.."The majority should NEVER have voting rights against the minority."

No truer words have ever been spoken.

SATURDAYS IN THE CITY

You know, I really hate straight people - I really do.

I mean, it's bad enough that they hold the cards in the gay marriage battle, but must they also be so fucking fat and tacky?  I mean, how hard is it to push yourself away from the buffet table and get on the treadmill?  Or how hard is it to buy clothes made of natural fabrics that don't look like they belong on a golf course?

And don't get be started on their damn kids.  Why is it noone smacks their brats anymore?  In my day, if I acted up, my mother gave me a back handed slap.  I mean, kids need to learn right and wrong and that there are consequences when you break the rules.  I am so sick of mother's trying to rationalize with screaming three-year-olds at Duane Reade - kids that age respond to a slap, not a time-out.

I just don't understand how these morons rule the world.

HORRIBLE

I just can't believe it.

Last night on Idol that little unforgettable wimp Kris ( I don't even remember his last name) won.  I mean, how fucked up is that?  Adam Lambert was the clear winner.  I guess America is more white bread than I care to think.

HONEY, IT'S BOTOX NOT GRAPES

MISTER MAKEUP

MY BUDDY MISTER MAKEUP IS AT IT AGAIN.  READ HIS TIPS ON HOW TO BE A BRONZE BABY THIS SUMMER.  www.celebrityeverything.com

BITCH

Okay, so the bigot can keep her Miss California crown.

I guess it's okay to pose nude so guys can jack off to your pictures, but it's not okay for gays to get married.

More hypocrisy from the stupid blonde that preaches her love of God and morals.

DICK IN YOUR MOUTH

Does anyone care about Dick Cheney anymore?  

Bush's number 1 butt boy is all over the news slamming the Obama administration on national security.  He's also touting the success of torture, torture and more torture.  Seriously, what does this old oaf know about war, prisoners or torture?  I mean, he never went to war -  he had his Vietnam tour of duty deferred five times - yes, five times!!  

In other word, he's a big pussy.

I love Wanda Sykes' joke about Cheney...."I tell my kids that if two cars pull up, and one is Cheney and the other is a stranger, jump into the stranger's car."

GO WANDA GO

I don't care what anyone says - I thought Wanda Sykes was hysterical at the White House Correspondents Dinner.

So the fuck what if she made some tasteless jokes about Rush Limbaugh. I mean, she's a comedienne.  

PS - I agree with Wanda 100 percent - Rush needs to be waterboarded.

FIRST LADY

Okay, I love Michelle Obama.

But the best first lady ever?

That's what Oprah - "I picked our president" Winfrey seems to think. I'm sorry, but what has Mrs. Obama done other than show off her buff arms in sleeveless tops?

Don't get me wrong, she might turn out to be the best first lady ever, but for now, let's give that honor to Eleanor Roosevelt or Betty Ford or Hillary Clinton.

MADONNA MADNESS

Why does Madonna continue to think she is 21?

I mean, she wore this Louis Vuitton ensemble to Monday night's opening of the Met's Model As Muse Show, which by the way is fabulous.

Doesn't she look ridiculous?

Grow up.

SMOKE GETS IN YOUR EYES

I am so sick of those dirty smokers.

I was walking down 12th street today and got caught behind a gaggle of puffing pusses. I mean, the smokey tail wind practically gagged me.

I just don't understand who in the hell would pay $9 for a pack of cigarettes that will ultimately kill you.

PS - actually witnessed people wearing masks on the subway today.

OH HAPPY DAY

With Arlen Specter's switch to the rival party, the Democrats are one step closer to having control of the Senate. And once Minnesotan Al Franken takes his rightful seat, the Democrats will have the coveted 60 votes to stop a Senate filibuster.

What does all of this mean?

It means Barak Obama can finally make some amazing changes.

SHADY PINES MA!

How will I live without Bea Arthur? I love this little clip on Rosie.

I LOVE PEREZ HILTON

I have always thought of Perez Hilton as a mean chubby queen - albeit one with incredible luck. I mean, only in America can you go from being a penniless blogger to a rich superstar overnight. But unlike most rich assholes, he wasn't afraid to rock the boat with his political views - and I now say bravo to him.

For those not hip to the news, Mr. Perez was a judge at the Miss USA contest. He asked Miss California her thoughts on gay marriage. Well, what came out of her mouth was not only hateful, but plain stupid. I applaud Mr. Perez for giving Miss California a big fat zero after her hateful opinion on gay marriage - which cost her the Miss USA title.

And is it just me or does Miss California look like a tranny?

DESPERATE THOUGHTS

Last night they killed off Edie on Desperate Housewives.

She died in a car accident.

For such a great character, I felt it was a pretty mundane way to die. I mean, the show is known for it's over-the-top story lines - couldn't creator Marc Cherry come up with something more titillating or exciting?

Or perhaps it is brilliant storytelling - to die in such a simple way on a suburban street.

I can't make up my mind.

NIGHTLIFE

I hate weekend nights in Manhattan.

Let me explain:

On Friday and Saturday nights, the streets are flooded with bridge and tunnel trash that spew their tackiness everywhere.

I don't get why they come here?

I mean, any self-respecting Manhattanite NEVER goes out on weekend nights unless it's to a private party or a very private club, so why do they come? It's not like they're partying with cool New Yorkers - they're partying with other tacky trash from their hometowns - so why not stay on the other side of the bridge!

I KNOW I'VE SHOWN THIS BEFORE.....

I know I ran this pic before...but I didn't run the after.

BETTE

I just found this video - fabulous! I mean, Mick Jagger actually looks rather cute - and Bette does a swell version of his song.

I LOVE DR. BRANDT

I love Dr. Brandt!  What a freak!  I mean, this tranny-wannabe is 60 years-old.  God Bless him.

NEW YORK MOMENTS

Living on the island of Manhattan can be tough - the crowds, the tiny apartments and the crazy cost of everything can get you down - but then a moment comes along that brings you back to reality:  Manhattan is the best place on the planet.

Let me explain:

I started out the day rather blue - another rainy day at a boring shoot.  I was planning on going to the gym and early to bed....and then the phone rang.  My friend called to inform me that I was on the press list to the star studded annual Dressed to Kilt event.  Within 60 minutes I was glued together and in the front row watching celebs - some minor - parade down the runway.  Susan Lucci, Kelly Pickler, Mike Meyers, Sean Connery and many more walked the catwalk in kilts celebrating Scottish pride.  I drank free Vodka martinis and hitched a ride home in a limo with a couple I didn't know.

The cost of a glamour evening - $0.  

Yes, call me a recession-nista.

FRUIT

Does anyone else find those commercials for Edible Arrangements creepy?

I mean, what are you supposed to do with an arrangement made of grapefruit, bananas and strawberries?  You can't show it off on the counter like a bouquet of roses.  I guess you have to look at it for 10 minutes and eat it.

Again, I find the whole concept creepy.

ECONOMIC WOES

This is what is wrong with our economy:

Prices keep going up, up and up, but wages and jobs keep going down, down and down.

For example: The MTA has voted to increase subway fares by over 25% and cut back on service.

What the fuck? I mean, charge more and get less? Yes, that sounds like a good plan.

Why are we putting up with this?

FAT ATTACK

I don't know what I hate more: fat people smoking or fat people eating candy bars or fat people smoking and eating candy bars.

Oh, yeah, and fat people smoking, eating candy bars and riding the elevator for one floor.

RUTH

I Can't believe that Ruth Madoff thinks she can get off Scott free.

I mean, does she really think she can convince people that she knew nothing of her husband's money madness.

Oh, please, anyone that knew that couple said they were joined at the hip. I mean, she's living in a penthouse with millions of dollars in the bank.

I say put the bitch in jail and make her scrub toilets.

PUT A RING ON IT

More Sarah Palin hypocrisy.

After singing the praises of slut daughter Bristol's - or is it Brillo pad - decision to keep her baby Papa Don't Preach style, little Brillo Pad announced today she is waving goodbye to the child's father. Oh yeah, she never married him like mama Palin said she would.

I guess being married to a kid named Levi and living in a trailer wasn't exactly what she had in mind.

So Brillo Pad is now an unwed mother - I would love to get Ann Cuntler's opinion since the Republican mouthpiece's current rage is against unwed mothers.

MADGE

OMG - with all the money in the world is this the best Madonna can look?

Isn't it bad enough that old Madge is making a fool out of herself running around with a 21 year-old boy?  

The answer is no. 

Now she apparently is  going to a surgeon that needs glasses.  I remember just a few years ago Madonna was making fun of Cher's pioneering surgery efforts....well, Cher looks pretty good compared to Madge's corpse impersonation.  

PARTY POOPERS

Those poor Republicans.

With no leader in sight, the party of fools have picked idiot supreme Rush Limbaugh as their leader.

I mean, wasn't it bad enough they picked old daddy McCain and Caribu Barbie to rule the world?

I guess not.

I'm laughing every day.

ENOUGH

Okay, I love Obama, Michelle and the kids.

However.

I am sick to death of the media's constant praise of the Obama's parenting skills.

I mean, what's the big deal?

Parents are supposed to be strict, read bedtime stories and give their kids chores.

GOOD LOOKS?

A new study released today reported that Sarah Palin's good looks may have turned people away from the Republican ticket.

I ask you: Good looking?

Hardly.

THE HUNT

I've been searching for a new apartment in Manhattan.

Yes, I know the economy is in the toilet, but with interest rates at an all time low and prices dropping, I feel this is my time.

Wish me luck.

SHOCKED

I admit it - I love the New York Post.

Even though the daily tabloid is full of extreme right-wing bullshit, the gossip pages are the best in the city. I mean, what New Yorker doesn't read Page Six or Cindy Adams or Liz Smith.

Now word is out that due to cost cutting, the Post has fired 86-year-old LIz Smith! I'm shocked, Miss Liz has been a staple in New York print for over 40 years.

Damn, I hate this economy.

I LOVE KATIE COURIC

You know, I've come to love Miss Katie Couric.

Watching her the other night cover the Obama State of the Union event, I was struck by her grace, charm and wit.

Okay, I admit, I never really cared much for her on The Today Show, but as the years wore on, she got better - and more feisty.

I mean, her "take no prisoners" battles with Ann Cuntler are legendary.

And let's not forget it was Katie who single handily derailed the speeding train that was Sarah Palin. After the Republican Convention love fest, the nation was in awe of the little Governor that could. Leave it to Katie with her calm blond charm to reveal what an idiot Palin was.

For that alone, I will always love her.

STRANGE STORIES

MM is back - I've been swamped with work - and I caught a nasty cold flying to the armpit of America - Huntsville, Alabama. I mean, I have never seen so many fatties in my life, so I was not shocked to learn that Alabama is the obese capital of the USA. I swear, I could not find a vegetable my entire trip - just platters of greasy ribs served on plastic plates with potato chips. It's no wonder I am sick.

On the plane back to Manhattan, I read in USA Today the most fascinating story. A teenage Wisconsin boy posing as a hot chick tricked numerous high school jock classmates via Facebook into sending him nude photos of themselves. With the threat of showing the nude photos at school, the crafty boy blackmailed the jocks into having sex with him. According to police reports, the boy had sex with 32 jocks in the school library, gym and parking lot.

I wish I had Facebook while I was high school.

DESPERATE

I am shocked.

Edie Brit is being killed off on Desperate Housewives.

I mean, Nicolette Sheridan's Edie is the best thing on the show. Granted, she's always been a minor character, but her bitchy put-downs and sassy expressions made for fine television.

I will miss her.

PISSED OFF

Why is it so fucking hard to talk to a human being when calling a company?

I mean, after endless prompts and hang ups and call backs and a final 30 minute wait you finally get some foreign fuck in India who can barely speak English.

Fucked up! And we wonder why the economy is in a shambles.

LOVE THIS PHOTO

ONLY IN MMANHATTAN

I found this kooky ad on craigslist.

Transmale master seeking slave with a car and skills

Reply to: pers-1032670066@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2009-02-12, 10:32PM EST


Seeking slave who is presentable and is seeking to assist master a few times a week with his massage, foot works, errands and other needs master may develop. You will accompany me and drive me and generally carry out my orders and wishes.
Only subhuman and lowly slaves need apply.
Must be able to bring monetary offering to master at all times or forget it.

DON'T MESS WITH MOMMIE DEAREST

You probably already heard that Miss Faye Dunaway is totally pissed that pop tart Hillary Duff is going to reprise her star turning role in 1967's classic "Bonnie and Clyde." I think she said..."Couldn't they at least find a real actress?"

I couldn't agree more.

"Bonnie and Clyde" is an amazing film - Oscar wins and nods for all involved. I mean, if it ain't broke, don't fix it - and certainly don't fix it with to-talent Hillary Duff.

And to add insult to injury, Miss Duff tried to get catty with Mommie Dearest by saying..."Most of my fans don't even know who she is...and if Iooked like her, I might be mad, too."

Ouch.

And for the record, Miss Dunaway is 68, and although she looks a tad pulled, I still think she looks amazing.

YOU BE THE JUDGE

I have always HATED Sarah Palin, but this recent bit of news is frightening. I understand that perhaps the wolf population needs to be controlled, but isn't there a more humane way to kill these animals?

I'M SORRY, SHE'S FAT

OH, PLEASE

How dumb do Republicans think we are?

I mean, if they can't beat 'em, join 'em.

Now the Republicans have hopped on the black bandwagon and appointed Michael Steele as the first black RCN chairman.

I'm all for progressive politics, but this is just a shameless ploy.

FOREVER YOUR GIRL

Last night, I smelled Paula's Abdul's chest.

Let me explain:

I was invited to attend a sassy press event for uber dermatologist Patricia Wexler's new skincare line. The event was held on the Upper East Side - an area I rarely if ever travel to, but free food, free drink and free products won out. Once inside, free cocktail in hand, I started scoping out the celebs....Bernadette Peters in the corner, Diane Sawyer looking at eye cream, but who really caught my eye was Miss Paula Abdul.

Tiny even in sky high Jimmy Choo pumps, Miss Abdul looked amazing - and the only celebrity the cameras and paparazzi were going crazy for. I noticed Paula was carrying a bottle in her hand - she was hawking her new fragrance soon to be sold on Home Shopping Network. I smiled at her and Miss Forever Your Girl waltzed over and made me smell her chest.

That's what I love about living on the island of Manhattan; you can wake up to a mundane day and end up with your nose in Paula Abdul's chest.

THE REAL TRUTH

Here is lady Madonna sans photoshop.

Shocking, isn't it?

COLD IN THE CITY

In my many years on the island of Manhattan, I have never felt such cold.

Oh, sure it's colder in places like Minnesota, but in Manhattan we actually walk in the cold. I am praying for an early spring.

RECESSION??

You know, today I popped into a Starbucks for a quick soy latte and the line was 20 people deep. Excuse me, but I thought we were in a recession. Guess not at Starbucks.

FAITH

I found it odd that Faith Hill sang at one of Obama's balls - I mean, didn't she support old daddy McCain?

But I will give Faith credit - she looked amazing! I mean, she's discovered the power of tox and Juvederm.

ANN IS AT IT AGAIN

I just want to know who buys her books. I mean, she's such a cunt.

SHOPPING

Wow - interest rates are below 5 percent - and prices on Manhattan apartments are dropping. I'm thinking of leaving my rent stabilized East Village nest to see what I can afford in the concrete jungle.

Maybe I will be a grown up after all.

NOW THE OPPOSITE

Now poor Miss Teri Hatcher looks like she needs some work. Feast or famine in Hollywood.

WHAT HAS SHE DONE?

Now we all know that I LOVE me some P.S. - that's plastic surgery. But Miss Lisa Rhinna has just gone overboard with the cheeks and the lips - too much Juvederm is my guess. Girl, lay off the syringe.

TYRANT TRANNY

This past summer, I tried to steal this tranny's man at Nowhere Bar. Of course, I was high as a kite on Black Bitches (vodka and Diet Coke). When she got word of my antics, she shot me a look of death - and I ran like hell from the bar.

What was I thinking?

This is one mean looking bitch.

I LOVE THIS PICTURE!

I found this online - it's fab!

BACK IN NYC

Thank heaven I am back in the land of the living.

Two weeks in Minneapolis almost turned me into a neutered breeder with a pot belly.

The big trend in freezing Minneapolis is to wear Khaki shorts all winter long. Why? I have no idea - it's just plain tacky.

As I waited for the L train today, a Jamacian man on the platform was strumming his guitar and singing a melody of Beatles' songs. As he launched into "Help", I tossed a dollar in his guitar case and thanked my lucky stars I live in the greatest city on earth.

CRAZY

I just heard on CNN that George Bush Sr. is pushing his son Jeb for president 2012. I mean, it looks to me that old daddy Bush is going senile.

MUSLIM MINNESOTA

Yup, I'm still in Minnesota.

I was driving in Northeast Minneapolis today and came upon a huge group of Muslims protesting Israel's raid on the Gaza Strip. I mean, what idiots.

I learned long ago that you can't talk or rationalize with a Muslim. I mean, watch any news channel and witness Muslim after Muslim condemning Israel for "attacking" them while painting themselves as saints. Excuse me, but if the Muslims would leave Israel alone, all would be fine.

What is Israel supposed to do? Just sit there and let the Muslims bomb the shit out of them? The Muslim population supports Hamas - and Hamas is a terrorist group. If the Muslims wanted peace, they would kick Hamas out of their country.

STILL IN MINNEAPOLIS

A few thoughts.

You know, it seems everyone I meet in Minneapolis is in a coma.

I mean, does anyone have any fun here?

Oh, don't get me wrong, I see plenty of under 25-year-olds having a good time, but God forbid if you are post 25 and want more out of life than screaming kids and Khaki pleated trousers.

What I love about New York City is folks of all ages are hip, trendy and cool.