Sunday, October 28, 2007

THE EAGLE HAS LANDED AT WALMART

Does anyone else find it odd that the legendary Eagles are releasing their new CD exclusively at Walmart?

I mean, wasn't this the hippy dippy band from the 1970's that preached against corporate America in their song "Hotel California"?

I smell a sell-out here - big time.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

THE VIEWLESS VIEW


I have tried, Lord knows I have tried, but I just don't like the new line-up of chatty chicks on The View.

Watered-down Whoopie is so boring, she puts me to sleep. I mean, didn't this woman used to be black? She's now so politically correct I think she's a white woman from Long Island.

Sherry Shepherd is so stupid and unaware of news worthy topics that she even makes moron Elizabitch seem smart. I mean, however stupid her opinions are, at least Elizabitch has an opinion.

I miss Rosier days when The View was worth watching. Hate her or love her, Miss Rosie always had an honest heart and mind and wasn't afraid to speak it.

Friday, October 19, 2007

ANNIE





Last night, I saw Annie Lennox live in concert. I was seated 5th row dead center - and she did not disappoint. Her soulful clear voice and artful dancing were a real treat.

This being Minneapolis, the crowd was filled with grey-haired old ladies, pudgy and partnered queens and a slew of office drones with Coach bags. I am always shocked how tacky my hometown has become. I mean, I remember the 80's when an event like this would have brought out the fashionistas in droves. Freshly toxed, I looked the youngest in attendance.

After the show, we went to the Saloon and it was "chicken" night and the place was packed with 18 year-old gay boys. Honey, I was not the youngest in attendance.

What a difference crossing the street makes.

And Annie, as much as I love you, you should really rethink sleeveless tops.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

TRAPPED IN HELL

You know, I don't think there is a more depressing place on the planet than the Midwest. Yes, I'm in my home state on a job and I'm depressed as hell.

I mean, what do creative people do here?

All I see are fat str8 people pushing baby carriages around. And what’s with all the high waisted jeans the soccer moms love? Or the totally sexless "bob" haircut with the pushed-up teased bang? And doesn't anyone wear makeup?

Honey, if I were a str8 man in Minneapolis I'd run screaming to the nearest gay bar.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

SONGS OF MASS DESTRUCTION



As a child of the 80's, I love Annie Lennox. I mean, we both survived the 80's and lived to tell about it.

In Boy George's fasinating autobiography, he remembers that during the Newsweek photo shoot Annie instructed the makeup artist to "not make me look like Boy George." By looking at the finished product, I don't think the makeup artist listened.

Annie released a new CD last week and I was first in line to buy it. I was cautious about this new collection of songs, since her last outing "Bare" was less than stellar to me. Well, I am here to say "Songs of Mass Destruction" is amazing from start to finish.

Buy it now.

Sunday, October 07, 2007

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?

I am in shock.

According to itunes, Britney Spear's new single "Gimme More" is the number one requested song in the world. Also, the song is number three on Billboard's Hot 100 chart.

I guess it does pay to shave your head, show your puss in public and lose your kids. I mean, I guess white trash rules.

Thursday, October 04, 2007

A NEW YORK NIGHT



Every blue moon, I have that perfect Manhattan night – I call it a “Carrie Bradshaw” moment - that reminds me of what a magical city I live in.


Let me explain:

Last evening, I attended a memorial service for downtown legend Dean Johnson. For those not in the know, Dean was a six-foot-six bald headed part-time club promoter, part-time prostitute, part- time rock star and full-time nice guy who died mysteriously from a drug overdose while trafficking a group of prostitute twinks to a wealthy closet case Saudi in Washington DC.

Yes, truth is stranger than fiction.

Dean would have been happy with the turn out. Past and present downtown royalty held court in his honor. Seen mingling were Rupaul, Lady Bunny, Debbie Harry, David Bowie, the cast of Shortbus.. .and a slew of aging club kids from my Limelight and Tunnel past. Oh, and a chubby and very aged Lady Miss Kier from Deelite.

Amidst all of this downtown glamour, I noticed a pudgy-faced sweat suit clad soccer mom yelling my name.

Who was this woman?

It was an old makeup artist nemesis from Minneapolis who I had not seen in years. Turns out she was in town shooting a catalog for Kohl’s. The stylist (a former go-go boy I knew from my Club USA days) had taken her to this event.

While I tried to listen to the many mourners who shared twisted tales of Dean’s infamous lifestyle, she bored me with pictures of her cross-eyed kid and tales of small town life. After a few beers, she suddenly turned ugly and accused me of sabotaging her career. Apparently, 14 years earlier I had called her clients in Minneapolis and had her blacklisted. My friends were rather shocked at her accusations and were anxious to hear my response. Now I had no memory of doing this, and quite frankly, I hate being blamed for things that I wish I had done in the first place.

I looked her dead in the eye and said: "Yeah, I did it and I'd do it again."

I guess it will be another 14 years before I talk to her again.

After a few more air kisses and stabs in the back, we headed to Mary Ann’s – a dive Mexican restaurant –and drank margs and nibbled nachos and talked about the good old bad days of clubbing in the East Village.

When my buddies taxied home, I was far from tired - and feeling fat from my Mexican feast - I decided to hit the gym. And yes, it was my lucky night – the kick boxer in all his muscled sweaty glory was pounding the bag, and, of course, he ignored me.

Oh, the magic of Manhattan.