Thursday, January 31, 2008


I hooked up with an old fuck buddy the other night – a gorgeous 28 year old boy with wavy Hollywood hair and eyes so dark and hooded they could turn a hetro boy queer. His name is Scorpio (I swear it’s his real name) and when I met him a few years back, he was trying to make it as an actor/model – he now works on Wall Street.

He came over at 1am – drunk. His hair was messy and he smelled of stale beer and cigarettes – and he wasn’t wearing underwear.

Why did I let him in? I guess the three devils of Manhattan - bored, lonely and horny – got the best of me.

He said he had stopped calling me because I was ”standoffish” during our last hook up.


Maybe that’s my problem with men.

I mean, he wasn't the first to tell me I have an icy veneer. I guess I’ve always subscribed to the notion that you never show feelings or love for several months – but come to think of it, the person who gave me that advice is 46 and still single.

I didn’t have much time to ponder the question of my cold soul, because in a matter of seconds his body was pressed up against mine. I woke up the next morning smelling of stale beer and cigarettes.

Time to save my soul later.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008


With the onslaught of celeb and politico endorsements, I'm casting my vote for Hillary Clinton.

I have to admit, I was swayed by Obama's way with words, but when it comes right down to it, he doesn't really have much to say.

I mean, what are his views on anything?

Do we really know?

I'm sorry, but flowery words of change don't really mean that much.

I want a president with some experience.

And those Clinton years were pretty damn good in retrospect.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008


I never liked Rudy Giuliani as mayor of New York City - and I despise his gold digging wife.

I mean, he was a big bully who did horrific things to common citizens who tried to stand up to him - the New York Times last week printed an amazing article about his mean-spirited tactics as mayor. And can we talk about Bernie Kerik?

911? Yeah, he did a good job - but I think any mayor or elected official would have done equally as well.

I say good riddance.

PS - Let's see how long his wife stays with him now that he hasn't got a shot in hell to be president.

Saturday, January 26, 2008


In my quest for love, a good friend and I went out for drinks to discuss my situation. Over much heartfelt talk, and a few tears on my part, she asked me a rather interesting question: Who am I?

And you know what, I couldn't answer the question.

After many years of freelance work, which constantly requires a new face and a new attitude for each job environment, my wants and needs are as easily applied and removed as the makeup I apply to a model's face. Happy, sad, sexy or queeny, I've played every role with gusto. I mean, Oscar, Tony, Emmy - even a fucking People's Choice Award - I've earned them all.

Yet, sitting with a happy hour Rasmopolitan in my hand, I came to the conclusion that I had no idea who I am.

You know, I think I better find out.

Thursday, January 24, 2008


Oh boo-hoo.

I don't understand why anyone in their right mind would shed a single tear for some rich brat that overdoses...I mean, come on, he was lounging around in bed at 3 pm waiting for a massage - damn, I should have it so lucky. Here is someone who had been given all of life's charms, and he chose to flush them down the drain. Although, I do find the Mary kate Olsen connection interesting.

I don't feel any pity for him whatsoever.

Monday, January 21, 2008


Wow, I love this new show on VH1.

Dr. Drew of MTV fame hosts a bunch of D-list celebs including Chyna Doll, Brigitte Nielson, one of the Baldwin brothers, a porn star and an American Idol reject - but the real highlight is Taxi's Jeff Conaway. I mean, he is a fucking mess. He is stuck in a wheelchair and totally suicidal and shaking and crying coming off his drugs - it's amazing television.

Watch it.

Friday, January 18, 2008


Well, I’m discovering that the road to true love isn’t paved with roses.

The thing about finding love in Manhattan is that the majority of its residents are either jaded, opportunists or assholes - and let’s not forgets whores.


Normal and sane people don’t move to New York City.

I mean, it takes a certain bravado and self-centeredness to move to the island of lost souls – in other words, these people have more important things on their agendas than love.

OK, I admit I’m a jaded opportunist, too – and probably a whore – but I’m trying to change.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008


I have made 2008 my year to find true love again.

I don’t think of it as such an odd request, but my friends certainly do.

My girlfriend in Milwaukee practically jumped through the phone when I told her. I mean, she basically said I was nuts and I had better reserve my room at the heartbreak hotel pronto.

Another friend with perfect prose wrote in an email:

I always thought of you as more of a hardened jaded (distinguished) girl who has seen and done it all. Now I see the emotional vulnerability behind that fierce mask – smoke and mirrors.

I had to ask myself: Do I really come off as that jaded? Maybe I do. And for the record, I consider myself more of a dame than a girl.

Maybe I am nuts to search for love on the ultimate island of lost souls, but I’m going to give it a shot.

Thursday, January 10, 2008


My buddy Mister Makeup is now writing a column for - check his tips out by clicking on the "Winterize Your Skin" logo.

Wednesday, January 09, 2008


I don't like Hillary, but I'm glad she won.


Because now it's going to be a real fight to see who's capable for the job. I mean, we as the public are going to see Barack and Hill putting it out there for our vote - and that's a good thing.

A word of advice for Hill - no more crying. It worked once, but it won't work again.

Sunday, January 06, 2008


I love this movie from 1999 - it satires life in Minnesota much more effectively than Fargo ever did.

The plot is simple: A bunch of girls compete for a beauty pageant in a mock documentary. The jokes are sick, twisted and very politically incorrect - but oh-so funny.

The movie is packed with talent - including: Kirstie Alley, Kirsten Dunst, Brittnay Murphy, Ellen Barken, Allison Janney (also in Minnesota based movie Juno), Denise Richards, Amy Adams, Nora Dunn and Mo Gaffney. Also, Joan Jett rocks out the Mary Tyler Moore theme song at the end.

Rent or buy it now.

Thursday, January 03, 2008


I am overjoyed that Hillary did not win last night.


Because as much as I love her as my New York senator, a recent CBS poll said that 47% of Americans disliked her - my own father said he would vote for anyone who ran against her.

Well, if the Dems want the big house back this year, it better be someone who can win.

My vote is for Barack Obama.