Thursday, February 22, 2007

MEMIOR MEMORIES


Does anyone remember Rupert Everett?

He had an A-list moment about 10 years back when he played fag to Julia Robert’s hag in “My Best Friend’s Wedding.” He committed career suicide a year later when he appeared with Madonna in the disastrous “The Next Best Thing”, which is arguably the worst film of all time. I mean, the movie is even worse than Madge’s beach epic “Swept Away” – and that’s bad!

Well, now that the big parts have evaporated, Mr. Everett has written a saucy little memoir about his 15 minutes of fame. Titled “Red Carpets And Other Banana Skins”, Mr. Everett’s prose, although not exactly Proust, is witty. His tales of life on the A-list with J-lo, Gwyneth, Donatella, and Miss Madge are quite insightful as well as interesting. But he left one person out: Me.

I met Rupert a few years back. Well, I wouldn’t exactly say met, but we kinda rubbed… shoulders. Yeah, shoulders.

Let me explain:

It was one of those mischievous nights at Manhattan’s sleaziest gay bar the Cock. After one too many black bitches (that’s a vodka/coke - the drink of choice for me and Debbie Harry) I wandered into the “anything goes with anyone” backroom. I saw Mr. Everett standing in a dark corner. I mean, at 6’4” with a head of thick black hair, he wasn’t exactly hard to miss. Star fuck that I am, I batted my Max Factored lashes his way and soon we were groping and kissing like two wild schoolgirls After several minutes, he backed away and dropped to his knees in front of a thuggish looking black man. I took a swig of my cocktail and watched his lips imitate a Hoover vacuum.

Ok, maybe he left me out of the book for good reason, but it’s still one of those amazing moments that can only happen in Manhattan.

8 comments:

BERTHA FROM VEGAS said...

How was his Johnson...Big like him? Bertha wants to know

Anonymous said...

MM did you really just watch or did you join in? The MM I know would have been front and center.

mistermakeup said...

It was good size - not big like a black man, but big.

Anonymous said...

You know whats amazing! That you are still alive...All that sex with strangers in the Aids capitol of the USA...Are you hiv+? I mean its not a bad question...Considering your lifestyle.

mistermakeup said...

I always have safe sex - thanks for the concern.

abby said...

did you actually like the book? the company i work for publishes it in london (Little, Brown) and i have to say, i didn't think it was very good. he was in the office a lot and i thought i'd be cool and not think it was a big deal to have him wandering around (he isn't that good looking anymore, is he?) but i acted like an idiot one day when he passed me in the hall and i had to move out of his way. i just stared at him and blushed. not very cool, huh?

mistermakeup said...

I saw him at the gym recently and he did look pretty hagged out - of course, he didn't remember me. I kinda liked the book - maybe it's the fag in me.

Anonymous said...

that cover shot barely resembles him

he has crocodile skin