Thursday, October 18, 2007

TRAPPED IN HELL

You know, I don't think there is a more depressing place on the planet than the Midwest. Yes, I'm in my home state on a job and I'm depressed as hell.

I mean, what do creative people do here?

All I see are fat str8 people pushing baby carriages around. And what’s with all the high waisted jeans the soccer moms love? Or the totally sexless "bob" haircut with the pushed-up teased bang? And doesn't anyone wear makeup?

Honey, if I were a str8 man in Minneapolis I'd run screaming to the nearest gay bar.

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

The comments about the midwest are so O V E R find something else to blog about or don't blog at all.

THE ORAL REPORTER said...

Honey, the Midwest is so full of things to blog about - how can I stop.

Anonymous said...

mm, you are spot on about the women of minneapolis..obviously you just struck a chord with 'other anonymous' (Probably a single straight male in MN or a fat female, my guess) i have only been there once and it was a nightmare. nothing good looking for miles. i say this and i hail from another part of the midwest. we know how to be beautiful here though!

Anonymous said...

Everytime you post about the Midwest, it's the same crap. Get creative or find a different topic.

THE ORAL REPORTER said...

OK - you want me to get creative on how miserable life is in the Midwest - well, for starters noone has a single ounce of ambition, which makes them extremely boring - not to mention fat. I come to the Midwest filled with creative East Coast energy and all I am met with is dull people devoid of personality who talk nonstop of their fat husbands, fat children and their fat life at the soccer field. I mean, there is a reason people call this area "fly over" country.

Anonymous said...

Anon @ 4:49 I am not male or a fat female I live in the west village in NYC.I have been to mpls many times and yes it is boring with nothing much to do but MM needs to move on......Who cares about your view of the fat no bodies you so frequently write about? Maybe they have opinions of so called skinny gays who can't get dates even at the gym.There is more than enough work here MM come back and leave hell in the dust if your so miserable.Maybe your the one who should get a life.AMY

Anonymous said...

Come back home!!!!
Get thee back to NYC!!!!!

We miss you, bitch!

THE ORAL REPORTER said...

I never said I couldn't get dates at the gym - I only said I couldn't get dates with the people I wanted to date - isn't that a universal problem with everyone?

BERTHA FROM VEGAS said...

Honey Minny sounds like I'd prefer to turn tricks on the strip here in Vegas before setting foot there.

Anonymous said...

here's an idea, Gays gays GO AWAY.

Claudia said...

Anonymous-have some balls and stop being anonymous...and this is MM's blog, you don't like what he writes, don't read it. Telling him to stop writing something is different than actually having an opinion, which you didn't. I met MM in Mpls, and I agreee. thank god I moved away. I miss my beautiful friends....but I soo know what you mean MM. When are you coming to LA so we can have a Fred Segal smoothie?

THE ORAL REPORTER said...

Miss Claudia you tell those pesky anonymous bloggers.

I LOVE Fred Segal - my favorite place to have a smoothie or a coffee - and it's great for celeb sightings. Last time I was there I saw Demi and Ashton and Tracey Ulmann. Of course, MM acted all cool - afterall, I was at Fred Segal - but I wanted to run up and ask for autographs. I guess you can't totally take the Midwest out of me. LOL.