Sunday, January 14, 2007

PROBLEMS

I was dating a beautiful boy from India. I really liked him, and he had the most kissable lips, but something wasn’t quite right. Now I know I sound superficial, but he had a…well, a funny penis. Try as I might, I just couldn’t get used to it.

What was wrong with it?

It was too small, too dark and too uncut. Is that simple enough? Now some uncut knobs can be quite cute, but this one was barely the size of my thumb and had a wrinkly tip like a corkscrew. I mean, this thing was so wrinkly I could store my ipod in it.

What was I to do?

My friend from Milwaukee was dating a man with a not too pretty penis; and she tried and tried to like it, but the relationship ended up a bonafide disaster.

That’s right; never underestimate the power of the penis. So no matter what, if you don’t like the penis, the relationship is never going to work.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Sounds like his penis was a big problem.

I had that experience ONCE and never forgot the lesson. If you are not feeling the penis, there is no way to talk yourself into it.

It's like chemistry. You can't make it happen when it doesn't exist.

Anonymous said...

Yes, it's all about the penis. I agree, MM.

mistermakeup said...

So all you pussy-faced anonymous bloggers - you now have to go through me to post - HA HA HA!!

mistermakeup said...

Lauren - call me.

Anonymous said...

So tell us MM what is it? a fragrant peach...or a cheezy willy! we are dying to know!

mistermakeup said...

To be honest, I never got that close to it to smell.

Anonymous said...

your clever responses to the fat haters is usually worth a real good laugh to some of us.

please don't completely eliminate their retarded comments.....

Anonymous said...

Does blood or Botox run through your heartlessly superficial veins?

mistermakeup said...

Darling, I thought we cleared this matter up a few blogs back - it's botox.