Sunday, March 18, 2007

JEEPERS PEEPERS

I was thinking about getting Lasik eye surgery, but I think I’ve changed my mind.

Let me explain:

I ran into a good friend who recently had the procedure and he was none too happy.

With his new x-ray vision, he noticed all the lines and cracks on his face.

“When I first looked in the mirror, I thought it was my grandfather,” he moaned. “And there is no going back – I’m going to see everything from now on weather I like it or not.”

He then spewed his venom in my direction.…”MM, I always thought you looked a perpetual 22, but now with my new peepers, I can see that’s hardly the truth.”

Ouch.

Yes, I’m gonna pass on the Lasik and stick to my rose-colored lenses, because sometimes the world is a better place a little fuzzy and out-of-focus.

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

excellent decision.

Anonymous said...

girl do you wear lenses?

THE ORAL REPORTER said...

I am half blind - as we all know, men don't make passes at queens who wear glasses.

Unknown said...

Ouch is right!
"Perpetual 22"? Cum on !!:)
Such delusions.
A little fuzzy and out-of-focus must be.

Truth be told, the original quip is more accurate: "Men seldom make passes At girls who wear glasses".
-Dorothy Parker (1893 - 1967).

I always cherish a biting wit. As you.

Yade? Ja Yade.

THE ORAL REPORTER said...

You know I met Miss Cheryl Ladd a few years ago at a cocktail party and we both Ya Jaded each other and she was very nice - the joy of Manhattan.

Anonymous said...

again with the name dropping.

YOU HAVE NAME DROPPED CHERYL LADD

CHERYL LADD?!

Do you think that flies? Name dropping Cheryl Ladd?

COME ON!!!!!!!

THE ORAL REPORTER said...

Dear blogger - For the record, I live in Manhattan and work in the entertainment industry, so of course I'm going to meet celebrities - this ain't the Midwest, honey, so what's name dropping to you, is small talk here in the big apple.

And as for the Cheryl Ladd reference, fellow blogger Northern Breezy and I share an inside Miss Ladd joke that goes way back to a certain episode where she said..."Ya Yade."

Anonymous said...

wow! you got me!! in manhattan it's normal to chit chat about long dead serial tv c list stars

for the record, I live in Berlin.

deutschland uber alles

THE ORAL REPORTER said...

I am going to Berlin in July. I will have to take note of the celeb chatter when I am there.

Unknown said...

Did Ms Ladd remember the Ya Yade episode?

THE ORAL REPORTER said...

Well, after a few Rasmopolitans, I mustered up the courage to approach miss cheryl - chris monroe - ladd. I was hoping she would be nicer to me than my run-in with belinda carlisle in Santorini- but that's another story.

Anyways, I know Miss Ladd is a golfer, and since I had just worked on a photo shoot with the top women's golfers in Virginia, I had a topic to bring to her. Well, she couldn't have been nicer. I mean, we chatted for at least 30 minutes. And yes, she remembered the episode with Ya Yade.

Anonymous said...

To the blogger from berlin.MM has done tons of celebs. A list down to D list.If he wanted to name drop Cheryl Ladd would be very low on the list I assure you.You go MM. Love Julie