Thursday, July 26, 2007

2000 FAGS ON A BOAT (PART 2) COPENHAGEN



Today, after an exhausting layover in Amsterdam, we arrived in Copenhagen, Denmark – the start of the big gay cruise.

The temperature was a chilly 50 degrees, but that didn’t stop the locals from eating ice cream. I mean, wherever we walked the tall, blonde and painfully thin Danes were eating ice cream. I think the reason the Danes stay so thin is their love of bike riding – yes, like Amsterdam, everyone young or old uses a bicycle as their mode of transportation.

As a New Yorker, what I found odd was the lack of bicycle locks. I mean, loose bikes were just standing or leaning all over the place just waiting to be stolen. Apparently, crime is very low in Denmark. Also, Danes never jaywalk - even with zero traffic, huge crowds of Danes will wait patiently until the light turns green before entering the crosswalk.

As for style, the trendy Danes sport super low-slung jeans with Puma sneakers. Most of the men are oddly attractive with short foreheads, thick brow bones and wide high-bridged noses. Apparently, in some survey, Danes were reported to be the happiest in the world; and I have to say this appears to be true. I mean, couples of all ages were out and about at all hours holding hands and mingling with smiles on their faces.

The coolest thing about Copenhagen is Tivoli Gardens – a huge amusement park that Walt Disney used as a model for his Disneyland. At night, amidst the glittering rides, restaurants and colorful gardens, 70’s band Tower of Power played on the main stage.

On the boat that evening, our gay entertainment was the highly touted Bjorn Again singing Abba hits. My look this summer has been wearing bandanas around my head ala Axel Rose and leatherette wristbands. Ok, I admit on my femmy face and retro-feathered hair it comes off more Olivia Newton John Physical than Guns and Roses, but what the hell. At our lobster dinner that night, a queen from Kansas City looked at me and laughed in a loud cheery voice:

“Oh, how cool – you’re in costume for the Abba show tonight.”

No, I replied, this is how I dress all the time.

Yes, a freak amongst freaks, that’s me.

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey, do you have to tape down your vegas tits when you are in your MM drag?

THE ORAL REPORTER said...

Well, not really - I'm a double A cup, so it's not that much of an issue - thanks for asking, though.

Anonymous said...

http://www.myspace.com/mistermakeup

which came first?
nyc or london Mister Makeup?

THE ORAL REPORTER said...

Hello and welcome another mister makeup located in London - although I don't understand the question. London or NYC?

Anonymous said...

You need to post a photo of the new look MM.And don't compare yourself to Axel Rose he's gross.You are more like sexy Bret Michaels check out the new show on VH1 he's very sexy.

Anonymous said...

What about Latoya Jackson and her headbands?

Anonymous said...

SEXY bret michaels? Now I have fucking heard everything!!! People who OD on plastic surgery lose all perspective on what is attractive, and all of a sudden the FREAKY FREAKS amongst them who have undergone the knife a tad too much look hot.

Kill me.

THE ORAL REPORTER said...

I hope you don't mean little old me - I've only had botox, juviderm, full face acid peels, two nose jobs, laser eye lift, lower face lift and lipo. Does that make me an addict?

BERTHA FROM VEGAS said...

have you had a cock enlargement as well? i know that is what this Vegas slut would do, if she were a he......

THE ORAL REPORTER said...

Oh, no, I'm fine in that department. No complaints. Plus, I've seen men who have had that done - it's not pretty.

BERTHA FROM VEGAS said...

what does it look like? a cock implant? I met a guy who said he had one, but I never saw, it, kinda turned Bertha off....get any sex on the cruise?

Anonymous said...

cock implants always look strange.