Monday, August 13, 2007


There are a million places to dine on a cruise. I mean, you can have your choice of any worldly cuisine in the many restaurants and buffets. But the best dining experience bar none is the grand 5-star San Marco; where white-coated waiters serve lobster, filet mignon, veal and other delicacies – and yes, there is the army of silver wear to sort through.

Now on most cruises, you are assigned a table for the duration of your cruise, but that isn’t the case on a gay cruise. Each night you are seated with a new slew of queens to make small talk with. I mean, some evenings you can have the good fortune to be seated with a group of fun fags, but other nights you end up with a painful serving of compare and despair.

Let me explain:

On a bad night, my best friend Peter and I would have to sit and listen to wealthy and happy monogamous couples chat endlessly about their various 40-acre mansions, beachfront condos in St. Tropez and other assorted prizes of wealth.

Over the five-course meal, Peter and I (both single and middle class) would stare at each other and ponder at what point in the homo road of life did we take the wrong turn.

Some nights we choose to dine in the buffet because we couldn’t take another evening of being reminded that we were both romantically and financially inferior.


Anonymous said...

dear, come to ibiza its the same shit here...."but you havent rented a car"??? (incredulously) "your getting around on a bike and god"....somewhere along the line we took...................

Anonymous said...

ever noticed how all these rich fags seem to know eachother???