SEEING IS BELIEVING

White Trash served up fresh and tasty.

WHITE TRASH AMERICA

OMG - watching the news about Sarah Palin's book tour - I can't believe the stupid white trash that have turned out to support her - did they all forget that she couldn't even bother fulfilling her role as Governor of Alaska? I mean, do they want a quiter for president?

MY NEW NEPHEW

IS THIS NOT THE CUTEST BABY.

I AM OFFICIALLY A DIRTY OLD MAN.

Ow BABY!!!!! by KaTelYnN GuErRa on Polyvore.com

Ow BABY!!!!! by KaTelYnN GuErRa on Polyvore.com

MISTER MAKEUP

Darlings, Mister Makeup is offering his fall beauty forecast at www.celebrityeverthing.com - take a peek!!

LEAVING ON A JET PLANE

I hate traveling.

I really do.

It's bad enough that you must strip down to your underwear at security, but now the airlines are packing the planes so tight it's like you're on route to Auschwitz.

And if you think you're getting a tiny bag of peanuts to munch on, guess again. And if you're thirsty, you better have your cash ready to buy a bottle of water.

On top of all this, two Northwest Airline pilots fell asleep at the wheel and overshot their destination by 150 miles! To make matters worse, when the pilots failed to respond to repeated radio calls, the Airforce, thinking it was a terrorist plot, went up to shoot the renegade plane down.

Yes, my darlings, traveling is quite glamorous.

JOY TO THE WORLD

I am so happy that Miss Joy Behar has her own nightly show on Headline News - 9pm eastern time. I'm never home - or sleeping - to watch The View - so this nightly liberal gab fest is a dream come true.

Watch it.

ONE DAY AT A TIME

Does anyone believe Mackenzie Philips?

I mean, she claims her father and her had a consensual sexual relationship for over a decade.

Her book, "High on Arrival" debuted on the New York Times bestseller list at number 3.

Considering all the hoopla and media events surrounding the book, number 3 doesn't sound too good.

SWIFT BOATING

We must stop the insane Republicans from "Swift Boating" Obama's health care plans.

The Republicans are smart - they know the American people can be easily mislead - and if the public hear something over and over like "death panels" and "higher taxes" they start to believe it.

I mean, the "Swift Boat" attacks against John Kerry won the election for Bush. In retrospect, I can't believe that anyone would be dumb enough to believe the lies about Kerry's war service. I mean, especially when Bush and Cheney went AWOL or came up with excuses not to go to Vietnam. In fact, it's down right unpatriotic to lie and scheme against a war hero - but that's what Republicans do best - lie and scheme to get their way.

We must stop them.

I LOVE THIS 80S VIDEO

TROUBLE HATCHER

Good Lord - all this nastiness on Miss Terri Hatcher!

I must admit that while on my big gay cruise last summer we had for our entertainment one night that Asian queen who plays the fag to Eva's hag - and he said..."Does anyone want to hear about Desperate Housewives?"

Of course, the queens hooted YES.

He said: I have two words for you - TROUBLE HATCHER!

SURPRISED?

Is anyone surprised that Bush used terror alerts to beat John Kerry in 2004?

I mean, in Tom Ridge's new book he states that with Kerry gaining in the polls, Bush begged him to issue terror alerts to help him when the election - and we all know, when the people are scared, they vote for the man in office.

You know, back in 2004 I knew in my heart Bush was up to no-good with those fake terror alerts pre-election.

George W. Bush = evil man.

LET ME TELL YOU

Let me tell you, it was so much cheaper to rent.

I now totally understand the Tom Hanks' film "The Money Pit".

I want a new kitchen.

I want a new bathroom.

Had to get a new flat screen.

Had to get new dressers and closets.

The old ceiling fans were gross - had to get new ones.

Thanks goodness the blond wood floors are superb.

BIKES

Why is it a person would run like hell from a oncoming car, but walk right in front of an oncoming bike?

I don't get it

Time and time again when I am tooling about Manhattan on my girl's (no one steals girl's bikes) mountain bike, strollers just step right into my path. The other day some dumb yuppie lady pushed her baby carriage against the red light and right in front of me. I mean, I was going 30 plus miles per hour, so I had to slam on the brakes.

I said..."You stupid bitch, you have a baby to care for - I could have killed it."

My baby is not an "it", she screamed.

"The way you care for "it" it is," I pushed back.

Why are people so stupid?

SAYING GOODBYE

I am so happy to be in my new sunny two-bedroom.

However, I've learned you can't move forward unless you leave a little something behind.

Let me explain:

I walked by my former apartment today and discovered the belongings that I had left behind out on the street with the trash bags.

Sitting in the rain amongst the rusty toaster oven and my leaky 10-gallon fish tank was the mid-century red couch my parents had bought on Lake Street the first year they were married - I left it behind because it was infested with bed bugs.

Seeing my old life on the street made me a little weepy - but in a good way.

NEW HOUSE

Well, after five months, I finally closed on my two-bedroom coop in the East Village.

Let me tell you, it's not easy buying real estate in this economy. Yes, the deals are sweet, but the process of getting there isn't easy - not one bit, Missy.

I first bid on my new place in February, signed the contract in March, and finally closed the deal last week. Every day was a new drama and more paperwork - and yet more paperwork - I had a folder with over 400 documents.

More details on the road to real estate will follow.

HMMMM....

I wonder what this bitch has up her sleeve?

Sarah "I can see Russian from my front door" Palin has announced that she is stepping down as Governor of Alaska.

I hope she's gone for good, but my bet is this crazy bitch is gunning for a run for the Oval Office in 2012.

MISTER MAKEUP

Hey Y'all - Read the new Mister Makeup column at www.celebrityeverything.com

Summer Beauty Tips.

LIZA HAS IT RIGHT!!

"When the autopsy comes, all hell's going to break loose, so thank God we're celebrating him now," Liza Minnelli told CBS' "The Early Show" by telephone.