Wednesday, March 26, 2008


People say you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince.

Well, in my search for a boyfriend, my lips are quickly turning into lily pads.

Let me explain:

One of the best things about living in Manhattan is the anonymity it gives you. I mean, you rarely see the same person twice. With that in mind, sometimes I like to go out with a new identity. Sometimes I'm Tommy the graduate student, or perhaps Vinny the dermatologist, or other times I'm Johnny from Long Island. Oh, I'm not alone in this charade, before having her baby, my good friend Denise would frequent salsa clubs under the alias of Ramona....perhaps, it's a Manhattan thing.

After one too many vodkas Sunday night, I met a hot couple who wanted to have a three-way. Hmmm... Johnny could handle this one. Yes, Johnny from Long Island would be perfect for this assignment. In the cab to their Washington Heights apartment, the couple barely spoke to me. I mean, I was getting scared - very Silence of the Lambs. Once we arrived, we were greeted at the door by a third roommate.

"Oh, we texted him and he wants to try you out, too."

He was handsome and young, so I thought what the hell. We went to the back bedroom and got it on. Once we were finished, he left the room and said, "I'll send the other two in". Suddenly, I felt like a whore at VIP waiting for client #9. The couple and I had sex, too - one was hot the other not so hot. Afterwards, they barely spoke to me. I guess this couple has a three-way clause - no talking or getting close to the third party. Yes, it was odd - as if they were about to say - "It puts the lotion in the basket." I laughed as I let myself out.

I guess I had a good time, but one thing is for sure: In my search for my prince, there are three less Manhattan frogs to kiss.


Anonymous said...

I wanna meet Johnny from Long Island, and not for sex. I want to hear you do a long island dialect. I cannot imagine it.

Anonymous said...

Can you impersonate Gene Tierney too?

Anonymous said...

who is gene tierney?

Anonymous said...

honey... your still looking for love in all the wrong places.... don't lower your standards...its sooo beneath you and you are sooo much more! susan g

Anonymous said...

Cosign susan g. You wonder why you are not meeting the right man, and you are meanwhile cabbing it uptown to anonymous sex with strangers. Aren't you seriously too mature to mistaken that for fun? Pity such a man as you keeps undervaluing yourself.

Anonymous said...

"Who is Gene Tierney"??? Now, I've heard it all... about Tyrone Power then? Nnnnnice!