Thursday, March 06, 2008

SEX ADDICT?

Am I a sex addict?

I don't think so, but a man I was kinda dating seemed to think so.

Let me explain:

We were out drinking cheap red wine when he asked me what kind of kinky sex I would like to experiment with.  Feeling slutty and slightly intoxicated, I told him I'd like to take him to a "dirty bookstore" and suck him off through a gloryhole.  

He looked kinda startled, but I didn't stop there.

I then proceeded to tell him I'd like to "fool around" in the back of a speeding taxi or maybe he could sneak into my apartment wearing a burglar mask.

He looked at me horrified and confessed his "kinky" fantasy was to "do it" in the kitchen.  

The kitchen?  I knew he was kinda vanilla, but I never thought he was that vanilla.  

Now I've always subscribed to the theory that a man likes a "saint in the sitting room and a whore in the bedroom."  I mean, my dead husband never had any complaints with my sexual creativity.

Of course, the next day I received an email from this man informing me that we were not compatible and that I was a sex addict.




4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Honey being creative does not mean you are a sex addict.

I was very creative with this guy I once was with, hand jobs under the table at restaurants, head driving down the street,sex in a bathroom...I could go on and on. But he ended up leaving a adventurous person for a fat dull dud. How do I know she's a dud? I know several guy's that have been with her and they said she's like a dead fish in bed.

You were right to vanilla.

Anonymous said...

I didn't think you'd drink anything that is "cheap".

THE ORAL REPORTER said...

Honey - when i'm low on dollars and there isn't an older gent with a fat wallet around, I've been known to drink cheap.

riftgirl said...

Are you sure he said "kinky" and not "cooking?" ;-) Men are nuts. You have great sex with one and instead of enjoying it, he starts suspecting that you must walk the streets in your spare time. Blah!