Wednesday, April 30, 2008


It's no secret that I love Ashlee Simpson - she's the ultimate ugly duckling success story.

I mean, she grew up in the shadow of busty blond big sister Jessica - and that couldn't have been easy for a girl with little talent, no tits and a big nose. However, with the help of a doctor's scalpel, she has transformed herself into a surgerized swan - and nabbed a rock star boyfriend.

Call me crazy, but I rocked out to her first album. Yes, I realize it was overproduced bullshit, but somehow I connected to her overproduced teenage angst - probably because I have so much of my own.

As luck would have it, Ashlee and her rock star fiance (Pete  Wentz of Fall Out Boy) have opened a bar named Angels and Kings located just steps from my apartment in the East Village. Ashlee and Pete are attempting to fashion it into a grungy version of the super chic Beatrice Inn. I've made it past the velvet ropes several times, but Ashlee was always surrounded by people - until last night.

Let me explain:

It was just after midnight when I saw my idol perched all by her lonesome on a bar stool. Her eyes were lined in heavy black makeup and I think (I hope) she was DJing because she was wearing "cans" over her red extensions.

I couldn't let this moment go by.

I casually bumped into my idol as I elbowed my way to the bar to order my $20 Black Bitch.

"So sorry."

She looked at me and smiled.

OK, this was my moment - try to be cool.

"The music is great tonight - who is this song by?"

"New mix by Madonna - here, have some drink tickets for your Black Bitches - what is a Black Bitch?"

"Vodka and Coke -Diet Coke if I'm feeling fat."

She laughed and handed me the tickets. She adjusted her "cans" and wandered into the crowd.

I had to catch my breath, but I had to be cool or the ever present security would label me a stalker.

The rest of the night was a blur.

I plan on going back every chance I get.


Anonymous said...

I hope you are getting dollars for this subtle promotion.

Anonymous said...

Your blogs have been rather boring as of late.

Anonymous said...

That's funny..
Let me explain:
I know for a fact she has been in London for the past few days. If you saw her last night you saw her twin.

Anonymous said...

Hello haters! what the f?! Get off this blog if you are going to spew bile.

Anonymous said...

@ anonymous 2:50pm: TMZ reports Ashley in NYC leaving the bar drunk on May 1st. I know for a fact that you are an asshole.

Anonymous said...

Oh ya let's take everything TMZ says as gospel...
That's like saying the National Enquire is a reputable magazine.
If you want to be a believer you go right ahead. Your clueless.

Anonymous said...

Has it crossed your mind anonymous @3:34 & 3:36 that anon @2:50 could really know what they are talking about? Why would they state a comment like that if it wasen't true? Something to think about.

Anonymous said...

I saw video of Ashley drunk and falling into a car leaving her fiance's bar LAST NIGHT on TMZ. Whatever the source, it is captured on film. Mister Makeup got drink tickets from her last night before she got drunk off her ass and rode a limo to her hotel. IN NYC!!! What's your beef? She's not in London, a-DUH!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Check you fact's..People .com ahole.

Anonymous said...

You clearly deserve to die.


Damn, what drama! I love that Ashlee has y'all talking.

Ashlee was at the bar Wednesday - celebs frequently cross the pond on a daily basis, so both TMZ and our anonymous blogger are correct.

Anonymous said...

I feel sorry for guy.

Anonymous said...

to 2:50: MM is right; celebs go back and forth from NYC to London all the time and even twice in the same day. If MM says he/she saw her, he/she saw her.

Anonymous said...

Well....lots of commotion. I can only guess what accusations would fly if someone reported seeing Gene Tierney out the other night.
P.S. Morgan Spurlock Rules!

Anonymous said...

Morgan who? I only worship Morgan Fairchild.


This was a popular blog, MM