Wednesday, August 06, 2008


I couldn’t sleep last night. Maybe it was the rain, maybe it was the sticky heat, or maybe it was because my mind wouldn’t shut up. I needed to have a drink. I got dressed and left the apartment. I didn’t shower – I planned on getting dirty where I was headed.

In a dark bar on Avenue B, the city that never sleeps was wide-awake at 3 am. The vodka/ diet Coke tasted divine, but I knew the slightly drunk man next to me that smelled of whiskey and cigarettes would taste even better. I barely smiled at him and we were in a corner making out. He had a deep foreign accent and wore a shark’s tooth on a leather cord around his neck. He was sexy and strong, and he had muscles in a manly way – not a Chelsea way. And yeah, he kissed me like he meant business.

I didn’t take him home. Something about him scared me. I told him I had to meet a friend and I left the bar. I went home and slept like a baby.

It’s been a rough week. Saturday was the sixth anniversary of my husband’s death. On that same day, I received two rejection notices from apartments I had applied for. Before the clock struck Midnight, a business partner announced he no longer wanted to work with me. The next morning, I went downstairs and someone had stolen the two tires off my bicycle – the only night I had forgotten to chain the tires.

I played Joni Mitchell's "Blue" CD the entire afternoon.

Is it no wonder I can’t sleep?


Anonymous said...

Oh Honey what a horrible week you had. No wonder you needed the touch of a big strong man.

Anonymous said...

I am sorry your weekend was the pits. I like learning about your life outside the 'bitchiness'. It's nice to see the other sides to life in the fast lane.

Anonymous said...

Do you feel any better?


girl, it's been a tough week - just when i paid $60 to get new tires, the chain broke on the way to a job. this is my unlucky month.