Tuesday, May 22, 2007

IT'S HARD OUT THERE FOR A STR8 MAN

Life is different in the Midwest.

I have a few questions:

Why do all Midwestern women over the age of 25 have short lesbian-esque haircuts with bad highlights?

And why do all Midwestern women over 25 gain 40 pounds and wear high-waisted pleated “mom’ jeans, or worse yet, “mom” pleated khakis. I mean, I really do pity the str8 men in the Midwest.

I will never forget an Oprah episode about sexless marriages. Up on the stage were obese women complaining about a lack of intimacy in their marriages. Seated next to the fatties were their husbands who complained about the weight gain of their wives. The poor men sat there while Oprah and the other fatties berated the husbands for being unloving and superficial.

What bullshit.

Every woman knows that men like porn and pretty things, so I doubt these men would have dreamed they would be fucking a whale for the rest of their lives. I mean, get real – it’s not that hard to put down the fork, put some makeup on and go for a walk.

You know, it’s hard out there for a str8 man.

18 comments:

Anonymous said...

yeah its a real problem str8 men have to deal with. so what is the cause of your concern over this?

we do not concern ourselves with your meth addictions and rampant hiv positive status. let us not forget every gay man has herpes.

live and let live dude.

mistermakeup said...

Oh honey, you are so ignorant - no wonder you don't reveal your identity and you choose to remain a weak pussy anonymous blogger.

I'd check with your facts - meth addictions and herpes are rampant in the str8 community, too - not to mention unwanted babies.

4:53 PM

Anonymous said...

so is obesity in the homo community

not all of your +sisters+ are botoxed and anorexia-ed fag-ulous skinny half-men like yourself. I have seen plenty of obese homos.

signed, pussy anonymous str8 man

mistermakeup said...

Well, at least you admit you are a pussy anonymous blogger.

And the gay community embraces our fatties - they're called Bears and they have an entire community onto itself.

Anonymous said...

you are so tenacious about fat women.
weird obsession for a gay man.

mistermakeup said...

All I am saying is it must be hard for a man to marry a thin hottie and five years later she's a blimp.

Anonymous said...

NOW I see your point.
You have a good point.

I like where this is going....
You wanna meet up for some NSA fun? I'll bring Tina, just don't tell my wifey.

mistermakeup said...

Who knew my blog would turn into match.com or manhunt.net ....take you pick.

Anonymous said...

Why should you concern yourself with this issue? You are really talking about an issue you know nothing about.You try pushing out a couple of kids and see what it does to your body.All str8 men want kid after kid but when the wife can't shed the extra weight they feel sorry for themselves.BOO fuckin HOOO for them.What about the skinny wives who have to put up with the chubby hubbies? Why don't you write about that? Oh ya you hate all woman....

mistermakeup said...

Oh, please, I do not hate women! I just feel sorry for the men who are stuck with these fatties.

Anonymous said...

hey fat breeders, go stuff your faces. MisterMakeUp has his game face on, and he's about to get some. If you want sympathy for your obesity, try rosie's blog. She never even birthed kids and she's the size of a double wide trailer.

Anonymous said...

Did you ALL OF A SUDDEN put your pic and family pic up to catch more str8 guys looking for nsa respites from their fat wives? Homos are so obvious!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

is this you?
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=4850647

it looks like you.

Anonymous said...

It goes both ways MM. Why don't you feel sorry for wives who have fat husbands?

mistermakeup said...

Oh, my, so many comments to respond to:

No, that is not me on that myspace profile - similar, but not me - I'm not that goth- LOL.

And yes, I do feel sorry for the thin women who end up with big beer bellied tubs of lard for husbands.

It's not that hard to put down the fork and go to the gym.

Anonymous said...

I rest my case Anonymous @9:08. Rosie and Kelly skinny wife fat husband.

mistermakeup said...

Now that's funny - good comment!!

Anonymous said...

Seriously? Yes, you're right all midwestern women over the age of 25 have butch haircuts and wear mom jeans. Of couse. I see it everyday in downtown Chicago. Everyday.

JackA$$