Life is different in the Midwest.
I have a few questions:
Why do all Midwestern women over the age of 25 have short lesbian-esque haircuts with bad highlights?
And why do all Midwestern women over 25 gain 40 pounds and wear high-waisted pleated “mom’ jeans, or worse yet, “mom” pleated khakis. I mean, I really do pity the str8 men in the Midwest.
I will never forget an Oprah episode about sexless marriages. Up on the stage were obese women complaining about a lack of intimacy in their marriages. Seated next to the fatties were their husbands who complained about the weight gain of their wives. The poor men sat there while Oprah and the other fatties berated the husbands for being unloving and superficial.
Every woman knows that men like porn and pretty things, so I doubt these men would have dreamed they would be fucking a whale for the rest of their lives. I mean, get real – it’s not that hard to put down the fork, put some makeup on and go for a walk.
You know, it’s hard out there for a str8 man.