Thursday, May 24, 2007

IDOL CHATTER


OK, here are my thoughts on last night's American Idol finale.

I adored it!

It was so tacky and over-the-top you would have to be an asshole not to like it. I loved the goofy and happy smiles on the Idol kids - it's not often you see so much joy in one place.

Joy or no joy, the show did have a few scary moments.

No more surgery for Smokey Robinson. I'm sorry, but he looked like an Asian puppet. I mean, men should never have their eyes done. Have we learned nothing from the mishaps of Kenny Rogers and Burt Reynolds? On the other side of the scalpel, Miss Gladys Knight took her midnight train last night and looked amazing. I don't know if she's had "work", but if so, the knife is her bestfriend.

I love Kelly Clarkson - what a voice! I mean, even though she's like your tacky cousin from the trailer park who talks with her mouth full, you gotta love her.

But honey, a piece of queer eye advice: get a full-length mirror. I mean, you are way too fat to be squeezed into a skinny mini with thigh-high boots. Honestly, I'm surprised Clive Davis didn't pull her off the stage. Same goes for the bellbottom beer belly-baring outfit she wore with Joe Perry - although she did sound amazing.

And poor Bette Midler - does she have the same stylist as Kelly? I mean, just because it's black, does not make it slimming. I'm sorry, but the Divine Miss M was out of tune and out of place.

I am a big fan of Paula Abdul. She's as loopy as Anna Nicole Smith, but that's her charm. And I don't blame her one iota if she's fucking all the male Idols - I wish I could, too. I love when she stands up and cheers, cries and dances with the performers. Say what you want, Miss Abdul is the only Idol judge to experience a #1 hit; and the only judge to ride the pop rollercoaster first hand.

I can't wait for next year.

PS - Yes, I did see the Rosie/Elizabitch fight. I admire feisty Elizabitch for holding her own, but Rosie was right - Elizabitch never did back up her "friend" when Fox accused Rosie of calling the American troops terrorists. I'm no fan of Muslims, but over 100,000 Iraqi civilians have been killed.... and who killed them?

I think we know the answer.

12 comments:

BERTHA FROM VEGAS said...

That fight between Elizabeth and Rosie was shocking!

Anonymous said...

Funny observation from an addict.


No more surgery for Smokey Robinson. I'm sorry, but he looked like an Asian puppet. I mean, men should never have their eyes done.

THE ORAL REPORTER said...

Oh, please - MM loves the Botox needle and that's about it. No eyejob here - not yet anyways.

Anonymous said...

Oh, please is right!!!
Your eyes are looking pretty high and tight. And, it's not reading youthful, it's reading asian claymation.

Anonymous said...

Hey MM, did the str8 guy on the DL ever bring you the TINA?

THE ORAL REPORTER said...

Thanks for the compliment - I think my eyes are looking rather saggy, so thank you very much.

Anonymous said...

Well, I thought more of Rosie before she quit the show over a fight. Mister Makeup, I want to know: what do you think of the anti-obesity person screaming about Jordin winning idol?

THE ORAL REPORTER said...

Well, Miss Jordin is going to have to lose a few pounds if she wants to make it as a pop star - I think Blake will be a much bigger success.

And NO, MM does not do TINA - ever ahead of the trend, MM tried it in 1997 and couldn't sleep for 4 days. Never again - MM likes his sleep. If MM needs some social lubrication, MM likes an iced Black Bitch - grey goose and diet coke.

Phee-Phee said...

Rosie was right and it was awesome to watch her toast Elizabeth for the sneaky little snotwipe she is. She was 'giving Rosaie a chance' to defend herself PFFT! What a little chicken shit.


I betya Elizabeth is gone by September! hoooo!

I predict Elizabeth is gonna faceplant into a major kathyleegifford - in two years or less! Now THAT will be FUNFUNFUN to watch.

BERTHA FROM VEGAS said...

You know, Jordan is dull, dull, dull. She aint a Kelly, or a Carrie, she will finish a Fantasia....she may have the voice.....but not the personality!

THE ORAL REPORTER said...

I wonder why Fantasia never made it as a pop star - she had the voice, personality and kooky name? I guess season 3 was a bust cause noone from that season has been successful.

I am so sad that Rosie quit the view early - I loved her fighting with Elizabitch. The show is gonna be a real drag now.

Anonymous said...

The reason why Fantasia got no where is because she can't really sing anything besides R&B.But in my opion she will do much better than the velvet teddy bear (Ruben) they should have nick named him the velvet whale.